How many times have you heard this advice about dealing with painful emotions?
“Stop being so sensitive.
Suck it up and move on.”
Feeling leads to healing (trite but true).
Avoiding emotions can hijack your health.
We’ve learned how to push discomfort away, but even when we do, it always staysand grows.
Astudy from the University of Texasfound that when we avoid our emotions, we’re actually making them stronger.
This can create many maladies in the body and in the mind, causing a myriad of health issues.
When you suppress your emotions, you are confusing and hurting your body in a profound way.
Emotions are our body’s way of getting us to take action.
On a very primal level, our bodies are trying to keep us safe at all times.
It’s all FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.
This triggers your body’s stress response and pushes you into a state of high arousal.
You don’t take the time to see if you interpreted the stressor correctly.
How can you develop a healthy relationship with your emotions?
As a therapist, I get it: Listening to our emotions is scary and can feel super weird.
That’s actually unhealthy too.
It can create too much confusion.
Step 1: Breathe.
Take a moment to become aware of how your body is feeling during the day.
No matter what you are doing, take a few moments.
If so, where?
Are you breathing in a deep way or in a shallow way?
How does it feel to take a few deep breaths?
By doing this, you could begin to identify where feelings are stuck in your body.
Step 2: Identify one emotion at a time.
Simply acknowledging your emotion reduces the intensity of them, making them profoundly easier to manage.
Step 3: Be kind to your mind.
We as humans all have emotions.
Some of them are positive; other ones, not so much.
Practice self-compassion; try not to invalidate yourself with dismissive or unhealthy self-talk about what you are feeling.
This just makes your cortisol levels skyrocket, leading to more stress and more anxiety and more negative thinking.
Step 4: Practice mindfulness.
When we learn to tune into our bodies, our thoughts actually slow down and offer us more control.
I also find it helpful to do this with a teacher and through apps such asSimple HabitandCalm.
Being mindful of and understanding your emotions improves your mental and physical health without a doubt.
This is the true meaning of self-care and can help anybody improve their well-being.
