How can you learn to be a better person in your relationships?
“Our exes are road maps,” Boodram tells me over the phone.
They are important gems of information that can be tapped into."
Boodram says this exercise was inspired by the teachings of philosopher and authorAlain de Botton.
Stay on task.
And remember: Closure or peacemaking is not your goal here.
“I had to stop him and say, ‘This is not figuring out why this didn’t work.
It’s been so many years.
I’m OK with the fact that it didn’t work.
I need to learn what I have to work on.
So that’s what this conversation is about.'”
Don’t deviate to “more neutral ground that actually isn’t progressive for you,” Boodram says.
“This is a CTA phone call.
Joint responsibility is not your focus here.
In general, a lack of accepting joint responsibility is exactly what can drive couples apart.
The two sides fail to recognize how they’rejointlyresponsible for their conflicts.
(A “battle of the egos,” as Boodram calls it.)
“A report card is not a mutual assessment of how your teacher did.
This isn’t easy!
It’s OK if the conversation is daunting, damning, or just extremely uncomfortable for you.
