As a couples therapist, I often give talks about love.
Racing heart, says one.
Insanity and obsession, says another.
Sweaty palms, says a third.
Looking for your first love can create havoc in your life.
Especially if you are married or in a committed relationship.
It’s OK to engage with the memories and the fantasy of your first love.
It might even teach you about what you’re looking for in love in the present.
But thought and action are different.
take a stab at sit with the discomfort.
And it may have everything to do with the feeling wefelt the romance, the nostalgia.
Those pure-hearted, deep, and tender feelings of first love may never leave you.
An ongoing relationship with an imperfect person can’t hold a candle to the fantasy of your first love.
Your current partner may be annoying and sometimes even impossible.
The Internet is filled with stories about people reuniting after 50 years apart.
That doesn’t mean you should try this out for yourself.
In fact, these stories most often do NOT turn out well.
I remember my first love.
The boy asked me my name, but I wasnt able to answer, or even to say hello.
This first romance contained much more misery than joy.
The boy was funny, smart, and incredibly charming, but he also was deceptive.
Ten years ago, I went to his funeral, grieving, but also grateful that wed parted ways.
These feelings for a long-ago lover aren’t necessarilya matter of brain chemicals only.
