Common wisdom around relationships holds that we should always be totally transparent with our partners.
A good relationship is based on microscopic honesty, they say.
But that’s not always true.
In fact, sometimes we can mix up the idea of “being authentic” with oversharing.
The “it” hung in the room, like silent thunder.
He finished off with “Just being honest.”
Healthy boundaries are an essential part of any good relationship.
Where is the line between honesty and TMI?
Our personal barometers of individual privacy are, of course, unique.
Two people in one relationship may have very different views about what’s OK to tell.
They see almost any question as invasive, even, “What did you eat for lunch?”
Others tend to share anything and everything about themselves, even the most personal details, in casual conversation.
Here are some general suggestions to help you sort out this complicated issue:
1.
It is essential to understand the difference between secrets and privacy.
It’s something that would affect their well-being emotionally, spiritually, physically, or financially.
Some partners readily agree on the line between secret and private.
With other couples, it is an ongoing source of tension and distress.
Private goes from harmless to harmful when your partner will be affected by what they don’t know.
But it is the gray area, that in-between line, that’s complicated.
How do you decide what to tell and what not to tell in that gray area?
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