Spoiler alert: It didn’t.
My boyfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
No lingering resentments, secrets, or issues.
It was just what we needed," he told us.
I felt my hopes skyrocket.
She studied our dynamics and how they were preserving patterns that were driving us crazy.
The beauty, it seemed, was that we were in this thing together.
In the first several sessions, I looked forward to digging deeper into the inner workings of our relationship.
We were in love, and I naively believed that love was all a couple really needs.
The hard part is for each of us to know and acknowledge our truth.
This is often very scary.
More issues were revealed as our sessions continued.
When I wanted to sit down and discuss the hard things, he didn’t.
When he wanted to talk, I could never find my footing or my voice.
When it came to fight or flight, I was always opting for the latter.
When it came to tackling our disagreements, we tried what I thought was compromise.
I told them that I was really into perfecting my handstand pushups and living a healthier lifestyle.
I’d get my happy ending.
Do I want to keep searching below the surface?
Do I have the courage and compassion to really lean into the ugly and uncomfortable?
Couples that do come in to see me often question their compatibility.
We eventually stopped attending joint sessions, and I began going on my own.
Within a year, our relationship finally came to an end.
Through the wonderfully sweet moments, through the painful separations, through the doors of therapy.
