Ever interacted with someone who seemed to be expressing interest in you…by making fun of you?
Why do some people get a rise out of putting others down?
What is negging?
Over time, negging can be extremely destructive and dangerous to the person on the receiving end.
It is not a valid or even effective way to flirt, no matter what pickup artists might say.
Signs & examples of negging.
Negging is sneaky and can show up in many forms.
Here’s a quick list with examples to help you spot whether you’re being negged.
Be on your guard for uneasy feelings after supposedly receiving a compliment.
They give you backhanded compliments.
They insult you and dress it up as a question.
They insult you and dress it up as “constructive criticism.”
They compare you to others.
Why do people neg?
Negging is most often born out of toxic masculinity.
It’s misogyny at its most naked.
Does it really work?
Negging as a flirting technique can never lead to healthy sexual or romantic attachments.
Any kind of manipulation is not a solid foundation on which to build intimacy.
Is negging a form of gaslighting?
Negging is not exactly the same asgaslighting, even though they are both forms of emotional manipulation.
For example, gaslighting would look like, “What are you talking about?
You’re losing your mind,'” explains licensed therapistAna de la Cruz, LMFT.
How to respond to negging.
When you’re being negged, you might feel very unsure of yourself.
The simplest response is to ignore them and stop interacting with them, suggests de la Rosa.
Better ways to flirt.
As we’ve already established, negging is a harmful, abusive, and unsuccessful flirting technique.
“If you meet someone you think is cute, go say hello and be direct about it.
“I met my wife at a wedding almost 10 years ago now.
“Ten years later, here we are!”
And of course, part of good flirting is also being gracious if the other person isn’t interested.
If that’s the case, then thank them politely for being honest and move on.
The bottom line.
If you are worried for your safety, then there areresources availableto you to help you leave.
(Here’s our in-depth guide onhow to leave an abusive relationship.)
If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
They’re available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
you’re able to also speak to them through a live private chat ontheir website.
