Sure, sleeping with someone outside of the relationship behind one partner’s back is pretty undoubtedly considered cheating.
But what about frequently hanging out with someone you’re sexually attracted to?
The latter, and more obscure, scenario could fall under the umbrella of “micro cheating.”
What is micro-cheating?
This subtle form of cheating doesn’t involvephysical intimacywith the other (i.e.
“But it is the secrecy and betrayal of trust that creates the most damage.”
Summary
What types of behaviors count as micro-cheating?
“Often, it involves a slew of subtle psychological defenses like minimizing, rationalizing, and denying.”
They might feel sexier, smarter, more charming, and more alive when they cheat.
Zimmerman says this subtler form of cheating often starts by accident.
“Many people have these interactions without it turning into cheating.
“It’s an unconscious way to wake yourself up to the fact that it really is over.”
All that said, a relationship isn’t necessarily over if there’s been micro-cheating in the past.
This also includes ending any current “micro-affairs” they may be having.
(Here’s more onhow to stop cheating, if this is something you personally struggle with.)
This can help boost confidence when either partner is feeling insecure, she explains.
Define what monogamy means to you
Nelson also recommends creating a concrete definition ofmonogamytogether.
“Monogamy is not a biological prison, nor is it a privilege.
It is an agreement.
It is a choice.
It is something you choose every day,” she says.
“Therefore, the agreement should be as explicit as it can be.
After an affair, talk about what you want in your new monogamy agreement.
What constitutes monogamy for both of you?”
