What is echoism?
Echoism is sometimes considered the opposite of narcissism, but central to being an echoist is a fear ofseemingnarcissistic.
They fear being the center of attention or a burden to others.
Individuals like that tend to be warmhearted, to the point of overgiving and under-receiving.
They also tend to be self-effacing and overly modest.
The story of Narcissus and Echo.
Narcissists and echoists get their names from ancient Greek mythology.
But few of us know Echo’s tragic tale.
Rejected, she grieved and died.
Characteristics of an echoist:
1.
Afraid to take up any space.
Echoists assiduously avoid any (real or imagined) spotlight.
Everybody else comes first.
It’s also hard for echoists to receive care and affection.
Poor boundaries
Echoists have weak boundaries or aren’t even aware that they are allowed to have boundaries.
They say yes even when they mean no.
Echoists work hard to demonstrate how un-arrogant they are, often to their detriment.
Interactions with envious relatives or peers.
Malkin explains that echoism may be rooted in upbringing.
Never asking for help.
Malkin also describes the case of “subtle echoism.”
These individuals are run by the rule to not need anything at all.
While being noticed is OK, it’sonlywithin the context of what they are doing for others.
Focusing on others' problems makes them more likable and lovable.
It’s an unconscious strategy to prevent rejection while distracting oneself from one’s own demands and worries.
This is where subtle echoists start to experience emotional distress and breakdown in their daily functioning.
How to heal as an echoist.
Malkin says that life as an echoist “is just as bleak” as a narcissist.
In fact, he makes the case forhealthynarcissism.
(Yes,not every narcissist has narcissistic personality disorder.)
“At the heart of healthy narcissism is the capacity to love and be loved on a grand scale.
“People who live in the center know when their grandiosity is getting the better of them.
They know when they’re getting too caught up in themselves.”
Take inventory of what makes you great.
Make an honest inventory of what you have accomplished and should be proud of.
and “What are my best traits?”
Or, “How would you introduce me to a total stranger?”
Curate your “jaw of awesome,” as Tim Ferriss calls it.
It doesn’t matter if you judge them as “too small/silly/easy.”
All that matters is that it means something toyou.
Simply say, “No, I don’t want to [action].”
Often, most reasonable people will not need any explanation.
Practice putting yourself first.
If youburn out, everybody suffers.
Every day, practice one thing where you are taking care of yourself.
Small habits that translate to big wins add up.
Heal the traumas and rewrite the script.
Know that you might heal from trauma and live a whole and joyful life.
This might require help by working with a professional.
Learn to turn your perceived “weaknesses” into strengths.
Stop fearing some dark behaviors.
Learn to leverage them instead.
If you were to simply be a littlelessechoist, you are merely drawing from the interest.
There are tons of reserves left.
The bottom line.
“Enjoying our moments on the pedestal elevates not only us but also those we love.”
