The short answer is: Yes, it’s an affair.
And no, it doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.
What is an emotional affair?
This jot down of affair doesn’t involve sexual contact, but it can be devastating nonetheless.
Many people don’t consider emotional affairs to be cheating since they aren’t having sex.
But it is the secrecy and betrayal of trust that creates the most damage.
If you find there is intimacy, attraction,andsecrecy, you are in an affair.
Why people have emotional affairs.
Emotional affairs can go through stages.
They often start by accident, sliding down the slippery slope of friendship and attraction.
Many people have these interactions without it turning into cheating.
What starts as moments ofmicro-cheatingturns into full-blownemotional cheating.
Signs you’re in an emotional affair.
Recognize the fantasy.
Affairs are full of New Relationship Energy.
You’ve been indulging in a dream.
Learn self-validation.
Many people get involved with someone new because they are looking for positive reflection and attention.
It’s important to develop the ability to feel good about yourself without needing external validation.
Cut off ties with the other person.
This is the time to focus on your marriage and not risk the slippery slope anymore.
This is key tohow to stop cheatingany further.
Confront the deceit.
Share exactly what happened and when, to the degree that your spouse wants to know.
Examine the extent of the dishonesty and the prevalence of lying in your life in general.
Commit to speaking the truth and being transparent from now on.
Recommit to making your relationship work.
Emotional affairs often sprout from the fertile ground of relationship dissatisfaction.
Consider going tocouples therapyor taking a workshop together.
Work through relationship self-help books to strengthen your foundation.
Talk honestly about your wants, needs, and complaints.
Know that trust will take time.
You don’t heal from an affair just because it ends and the offending partner apologizes.
The person who had the affair has shown an ability to lie and hide things.
What will move you through this is a combination of timeanddemonstrated change.
The cheating partner needs tobetrustworthy if they are going to earn trust.
The bottom line.
Affairs, both of the emotional and sexual varieties, are painful.
But they can also be the impetus to tackle long-standing problems and transform your relationship for the better.
