Yes honey, I know you think Im old.
And I have made mistakes over the years.
Have you ever forgiven me for those awful cupcakes I tried to make for your sixth birthday?
Or for having cats and not knowing you were allergic?
I sure wish someone had done it for me.
That said, here are three things I wish I’d known at your age:
1.
You are the most important person in your life.
Yes, I said that, and I mean it.
In the bad kind of self-love, narcissism, people have no intent of loving others.
I believed for the longest time that “doing for others” was my ticket to heaven.
I busted my chops trying to be the best friend I could be.
To double-check I didnt forget a birthday.
To always be a shoulder to cry on.
(Besides, you know that’s not true.)
But your focus should be on what you want.
You cant love others, truly, if you dont love yourself first.
Unlike your mother, you have never been one to wear your heart on your sleeve.
I have always alternately admired and feared that in you.
Each of you had to read your essays to the class.
To this day, I dont know why she did it, nor do I care.
What I cared about was seeing your heart broken by this betrayal.
I hurt for you because I had no answer for you.
I couldn’t explainwhya friend had done that.
All I could do was tell you how much I loved you, and hold you while you cried.
Soon, as life seems to go, the issue passed, and you two became close again.
Funny thing, though.
One day not long after your reconciliation, you told me that youd learned something.
You said that no matter what had been said or done, you still had yourself.
I was blown away.
You taught me a lesson in self-respect.
Now, I ask you not to forget it.
Knowing that you deserve respect from everyone is huge.
You may not receive it, but regardless, you dont have to absorb disrespect.
You are greatly loved by your family.
I think that at your age, its quite easy to forget that.
After all, “spending time with family” isnt always your idea of a great Saturday night.
It can seem like a gigantic pain in the butt.
I think you already know this.
I will always take care of you.
Your family will always be your your retreat and your safety.
Be patient with yourself and others.
There will be losses and there will be gains.
But if you understand that you are loved, by you, you cannot fail.
I love you,
Mom
