Even as people gain more awareness ofLGBTQ+ identities, asexuality remains poorly understood by many.
Here’s what you should understand about being asexual, sometimes called “ace” for short.
What does asexual mean?
Until recently, lots of people assumed that everyone was sexually attracted to someone or another.
But in fact, some people don’t experience sexual attraction at all.
That is, they have no interest in sex in general, no matter who it’s with.
That’s where the concept of asexuality comes in.
Some asexual people do have sex and even enjoy it; they simply don’t experience desire for it.
You’re not interested in sex.
Other people don’t turn you on.
Some asexual people actually do experience sexual desire and masturbate.
But most asexual peoplewon’t get turned onin response to other people.
“You may feel that someone is attractive but not be attracted to them,” Shane explains.
You don’t relate to other people’s sexuality.
“They really don’t get why the people around them seem so motivated by sex.”
The label resonates with you.
Graysexual
Some people use the termgraysexualto refer to being somewhere in between asexual and sexual.
“If you’re graysexual, you sometimes feel sexual attraction but not always,” says Queen.
For a different example, take pansexual vs. panromantic.
Apansexualperson is someone who can be attracted to people of all genders.
These identities can also be used in conjunction.
So, someone could bebiromanticasexual, for example, or aromantic asexual.
Or somewhere in between!
Can asexual people fall in love?
One popular misconception is that asexual people can’t fall in lovebut they absolutely can.
“Sex does not equal love,” says LGBTQ+ expert and dual-licensed social workerKryss Shane.
Someone who doesn’t tend to fall in love would more likely designate themselves as aromantic, Queen adds.
Some asexual people get into romantic relationships, and some have sexual relationships with their partners.
Can you become asexual?
Where you are on the asexual spectrum may change throughout your life.
For example, some women begin identifying as asexual due tohormonal shiftsaroundmenopause, says Queen.
Some young people might begin to identify as asexual after having sex and realizing they don’t enjoy it.
No sex drive whatsoever: Am I asexual?
“They might be really dissatisfied with this, and very much want to get their ‘oomph’ back.
“Some never feel the need to seek out trying to increase their desire forsexual intimacy.
If this is you, awesome!
Just be sure you are clear with any romantic partner so that expectations on all sides are clear.”
