There are three main adultattachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant.
What is fearful-avoidant attachment?
Also known asdisorganized attachment, it’s the rarest of the four attachment styles.
The fearful-avoidant attachment style is considered to be a combination of theanxious attachment styleand theavoidant attachment style.
But the fearful-avoidant attachment style involves a combination ofbothfeeling anxious for affectionandavoiding it at all costs.
But some research has found fearful-avoidant people to have “the most psychological and relational risks.”
you could take this five-minuteattachment style quizto determine your attachment style.
What causes fearful-avoidant attachment?
Attachment styles are thought to form in early childhood based on a person’s relationship with their earliest caregivers.
Some studies suggesttraumamight be a key factor in the development of fearful-avoidant attachment, Favez and Tissot write.
Earlier studies have hypothesized this behavior comes from abuse or other traumatic experiences with their caregiver.
That’s usually because of the way fearful-avoidant people may behave in relationships.
“[They] can be unpredictable and volatile in relationships.”
These behaviors can make for chaotic, intense, or evenabusive relationships.
Alternatively, some fearful-avoidant people may generally not enter into committed relationships at all.
The good news is that attachment styles are malleable and can be adjusted through conscious intention and practice.
you’re able to change your attachment style.
Favez and Tissot recommend pursuing atype of therapythat focuses on attachment, such as emotionally focused couple therapy.
Develop a mindfulness practice.
You might notice that your words in emotional situations trigger a physiological reaction of fight or flight.
Be honest with your partners.
Get real about self-compassion.
This isn’t just a feel-good catchphrase for you.
“True healing comes up whenever you learn to be the loving parent that you never had to yourself.
In what ways did your childhood hurt you?
How can you giveyourselfthe security, support, and validation you never had?”
