We’re increasingly cognizant of viewing life through the mental health lensbut therapy speak comes with its own dangers.
Sometimes it’s unintentional, and other times, it’sweaponized.
What is therapy speak?
“Therapy speak” is when people use psychological, therapeutic, or mental health language in day-to-day conversations.
Sometimes it can feel like everyone is suddenly an expert in mental healthor trying to counsel each other.
It can also be more tentative, instead of prescriptive.
Examples include:
What is weaponized therapy speak?
Or worse still, it’s used tomanipulateand hurt someone.
In those cases, therapy speak becomes weaponized.
And lately, I have been seeingeverythingblamed on trauma.
Not everything leads to trauma, and not everyone develops trauma from the same event.
What matters is that with awareness, we work to repair the damage and make the relationship stronger.
So, someone accidentally giving you the wrong information, or one-off lies, is not necessarily gaslighting you.
Dark personality types, however, love to wield it to their own ends.
They aren’t actually interested in changing, nor is it possible for them to change.
You think that because decent people are committed to accountability, they would be too.
Authenticity must be dispensedresponsibly.
First off, there is no quid-pro-quohere.
You may not have even asked for the other person to share things with you in the first place.
Others only share when it is long over.
There is no right or wrong here.
If they suspect they have a condition, or have been officially diagnosed, that is one thing.
There is no need to fuel unkindness.
(Full disclosure: I am an introvert.)
These arenota free pass to get away with poor behavior.
Beneath seemingly calm waters is a person paddling furiously and burning out regularly from that.
But symptoms manifest differently.
Another’s could be feeling intense heat or choking and thinking they need to escape.
The other camp is what I call “The Race To The Bottom.”
The common refrain, “What do you have to be depressed about?
You have so much in life,” springs to mind.
Episodes of bad mental health do not discriminate based on your resources, sex, color, or education.
That is escapism and self-soothing.
someone once made a dig at me.
More importantly, I wasn’t in the position of coach or psychologistI was plain ol' human me.
I knew that dig was designed to cut.
And so I said, “Sure, shall I invoice you right now?
And we will talk about it.”
To respect my energy and their investment, I do not step into therapist mode when off-duty.
Anyone arguing with that has got to be a little over-entitled.
If you think this person might be weaponizing therapy speak unintentionally, you could educate them.
Start with, “From what I understand, [concept] refers to ___.
Therefore, this does not apply here.
What do you think?”
You do not owe them anything.
More importantly, you are not a therapist or counselor.
It isnotyour job to therapize or solve someone’s problems.
Consider the big constellations of therapy speak that you use, if any.
Are they about communication, relationships, or mental health diagnoses?
Get educated correctly about them and know that a viral TikTok won’t always tell you the truth.
Speak in everyday language as simply as possible.
If you’d like to mention your diagnosis, use it in a supportive way.
This way, I focus on making it a win-win-win for me, them, and the relationship.
I always end with, “What do you think?”
so we can find the middle ground.
If you see me distracted, you’ve got the option to call me back to Earth."
Always make it a two-way street.
FAQ:
What does it mean to weaponize therapy?
What are the buzzwords for therapy speak?
Therapy speak buzzwords includeboundaries, trauma, gaslighting, abuse, authentic, self-care, introvert,andempath.
