What is sexting?
At the most basic level,sextinginvolves two people consensually texting each other about theireroticfantasies.
In addition to written messages, sexting can involve pictures, videos, or even voice messages.
), or maybe they’ve got kids around."
This is doubly important if you’re sending a sexy selfie.
Think of asking for consent as a fun way to tease your partner.
Can I tell you what I’m thinking?"
This includes photos and videos but also anyfantasies or kinksthat your partner may have shared with you.
You should also be mindful of sexting laws in your state and country, particularly if you’re underage.
In general, be wary of sending any explicit imagery of your face.
See below for more examples of ways to show appreciation through words and emoji.
(Here’s more on how to deal withwhen your partner’s fantasies turn you off.)
Take things slowly
Sexting foreplay is just as important as regular foreplay.
“Oftentimes, we make the mistake of sending too much too soon,” O’Reilly explains.
“Part of what makes sexting so intoxicating is the escalation of eroticism and anticipation.”
Learn their lust language
Does your partner like it when you call them “baby girl”?
Or do they prefer that you call them a slut?
What word for their genitals makes them feel the sexiest?
“What language does each person like and dislike?
What topics are off-limits?”
For example, “Does it turn you on when I call you ‘Daddy’?”
If you do want to show off to your sexting partner, play up the tease.
Also, don’t worry about taking an Instagram-worthy photo.
Part of the appeal of exchanging sexy photos is the realness and rawness of them.
“There is a reason amateurpornis often more appealing than high-budget films,” says O’Reilly.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
For example, “If you could do anything you wanted with me, what would you do?”
Practice makes perfect
“There’s a learning curve with any new skill,” says Harris.
“Don’t worry if you feel a little awkward or silly at first.
You’ll get the hang of it.”
Confidence (and positive affirmations from your partner) is key.
Remember that your sexting confidante is not expecting award-winning literature or photos.
Part of what turns them on is knowing who’s behind the phone screen.
Sexting messages, ideas, and examples
Memories:
1.
I can’t stop thinking about last night.
I keep thinking about [insert sexual memory together].
It’s making me want to play with myself…are you free?
I miss having you inside of me.
Remember when we did [insert sexual activity here]?
That was so hot.
I just masturbated to the memory of you [insert sexual activity here].
I can’t get you out of my head.
I miss making you come.
I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I’ve had your perfect ass in my face.
Future plans:
11.
Next time I see you, I want to [insert sexual activity here].
I can’t wait to have my way with you tonight.
I’m counting down the hours until you’re inside of me.
Come over tomorrow night.
I have a little surprise for you…
16.
I’m going to be a good girl for you tonight.
Will you lie back and let me pleasure you tonight?
I’m going to have you naked as soon as you walk into my apartment.
Positive validation:
19.
You have the perfect [fill in the blank].
It feels so amazing to be inside of you.
I feel like you were created in a lab for me.
You turn me on so much.
I don’t think anyone has ever gotten me this horny solely through texts before.
I can’t control myself around you.
The way your body looks when you’re on top is so sexy.
I feel like you always know exactly how to turn me on.
I want you so bad.
I don’t know how much longer I can wait until we can do that in real life.
Sharing fantasies:
29.
I watched this movie last night where the woman got tied up, and it made me so horny.
I just watched what might be my favorite porn video ever.
Can I show it to you?
Can you recommend a good porn video?
I kinda wanna call you Daddy.
Whenever I think about trying anal with you, I get really excited.
If I’ve been bad, will you punish me?
I was reading this article about pet play, and I want to tell you about it.
Thinking of you:
38.
You’re on my mind today.
Thinking of you and that perfect [fill in the blank].
I woke up thinking about you after a dirty dream…
41.
I hope you have a great day, sexy.
It’s too bad you’re not here right now.
I wish we could [insert activity here].
I want you to beg for it.
Tell me what you were thinking about the last time you played with yourself.
Say my name when you come for me.
Ask me for permission if you want to play with yourself.
Tell me what you want me to do to you.
Get over here ASAP!
I want you to be gentle with me.
Just lie back and let me make you feel good.
Will you grab my [insert body part here]?
Bend me over your knee and spank me.
Tell me what a dirty girl I’ve been.
Let me suck you.
Tease me until I’m begging for more.
When you want to play:
57.
Ooh, someone’s feeling frisky today…tell me what you’ve been thinking about.
I was just thinking about you too.
Would love to see what you’re wearing right now.
Someone’s being bad…do you think I should punish you?
I would love nothing more than to watch you play with yourself over FaceTime.
That sounds like exactly what I want to do.
When you don’t want to play:
62.
OMG, you look so hot right now, but I have a client call in five minutes.
Can we rain check ASAP?
That sounds amazing…can send a steamier response later tonight when I have more privacy.
You are insatiable and I love it.
I can’t talk right now but will respond to this when I can.
When you want to play in a different way:
66.
I love when you send me photos.
When you want your partner to know how much they’re turning you on:
70.
I am rock hard right now.
You’re making me so wet.
I think there’s literally a puddle underneath me after reading all your messages.
I would do anything to have you here right now so I could have my way with you.
When you’re not sure what to say:
75.
Mmmm, that sounds so hot.
What would you want me to do next?
You’re so naughty, I love it.
I love it when you talk dirty.
You’re so good at sexting.
Can you keep going?
When you want to be playful:
80.
I think I’m going to need a new pair of underwear after this.
Quickies (be wary of sending these on their own, as your partner likely wants your equal participation!
That sounds so hot.
[Pretty much any curse word will do here.]
Sexting emoji
“Generally speaking, emoji are not sexy,” warns Dr. Jess.
Doesn’t that sound sexier?
And there’s always something unique to explore or learn with a new partner via yoursmartphone.
Now that you’ve got some new ideas, why not try shooting your favorite lover a steamy sext?
