Susan is the successful owner and operator of four metropolitan home design studios.
She’s attractive, intelligent, and confident.
Shes also involved in an affair with a married man.
It starts with passion.
The single men just made a date.
They didnt have to engage in clandestine plans and think of elaborate excuses.
And why would she stay with him if he doesnt continue to work that magic that won her?
The intimacy they share, the illusion he creates, is tremendously mesmerizing.
She may perceive it as his commitment, an investment in their relationship.
It may feel precioussomething to be guarded and protected, nurtured.
But common sense will kick in.
The friends she’s told will remind her, Hes married.
Worried family members will ask, Is he still with his wife?
For many women, its out the door.
For others, the game goes oninformed by these widely held opinions.
When a man roams, he is probably not happy at home.
Divorce rates are about 50 percent.
Marriages end, and men remarry.
Infidelity rates are somewhere around 50 percent for men.
Maybe lifelong monogamy isnt the best plan.
Right" away from his wifeeven if it means taking an increasingly tenuous emotional risk.
The vast majority of men report that their reason for cheating was primarily sex.
Only a small minority of men who stray end up falling in love with their affair partners.
Most men who cheat report that they do so with multiple partners across many years.
It may be morally or ethically wrong; it just depends who you ask.
But this article is not about judgement.
It’s simply about understanding our natural tendencies and their origins.
And, according to infidelity studies, this will likely happen around year three or four.
Maybe he just cant bear to look into her lovestruck eyes anymore.
Maybe his wife is starting to suspect something.
Maybe hes just bored and ready for an affair-partner upgrade.
But year four seems to be a drop-dead date in the data.
Whether she discovers these facts or not, her heart is destined to be broken.
Broken relationships lead to broken hearts.
Researchers point to several possibilities.
Cheaters who end relationships tend not to be the most sensitive partners.
Her support system may be in the dark about it.
If friends know, it may be only a best friend, or those in a close circle.
So, how do the Susans of the world avoid injury from such a relationship?
As is true with most things in life, knowledge is power.
That single guy might be a safer risk.
Even if hes pretending to be cool at first.
Want more insight into your relationship?
