Resilience isnt just about bouncing back.
The mindset that shapes our lives
One of the biggest obstacles toresilienceis how we interpret failure.
Instead of talking about “mindsets,” Walton prefers to think in terms ofquestions and answers.
When we face setbacks, we instinctively ask ourselves:Am I good enough?
But theres another path.
If we can recognize struggle as asign of growthrather than failure, we canspiral up.
In his bookOrdinary Magic, Walton explores how language can either reinforce limiting beliefs or open up new possibilities.
For example, in school parameters, studentsparticularly those from marginalized backgroundsoften wonder whether they truly belong.
But a simple shift in language can change everything.
This small phrase significantly increased the likelihood that students took the feedback seriously and improved their performance.
Instead of interpreting criticism as a sign of failure, students saw it asan investment in their potential.
This highlights the power ofwise interventionssmall, strategic shifts in communication that can create lasting positive change.
Building meaningful connections
We often assume that understanding someone requires taking their perspective.
A more effective approach?
helped people become significantly more accurate in understanding each others emotions and preferences.
Strengthening relationships
The power of perspective-taking extends toromantic relationshipsas well.
Walton and his colleagues found that a simple 21-minute exercise helped couplesmaintain relationship satisfaction over time.
Three times a year, partners reflected on a recent conflict using these questions:
The results?
Couples who engaged in this exercise stopped their decline in marital satisfaction.
By shifting perspectiveeven brieflythey disrupted negative cycles andstrengthened their bond.
