For every hand held, there’s one being pulled away.
For every moment that feels stable and grounded in something authentic, there’s one of uncertainty.
But there comes a point when you’ve exhausted asking yourself all the questions: Are we talking?
Why defining the relationship is important.
What’s important is that it’s a shared understanding.
Sometimes you have to “make it up as you go.
There should be some spontaneity; otherwise, that takes the fun out of it.”
Now, approaching that particular conversation can require some skill and finesse.
But it provides a sense of clarity that can be necessary for a relationship to continue.
When it’s time to define the relationship.
There really isn’t a set time frame.
This should also not be based on other people’s timelines.
Just because a friend became exclusive with someone after one month does not mean you have to follow suit.
Remember, everyone gets into relationships at different points in time.
“They don’t do what’s right for them, hoping that the other personwill change their mind.
I’ve never seen it happen.”
Most of the time, the person hasalready shown you how they feel.
“If they want to be in a relationship with you, they will show up.
How to define the relationship when you’re ready.
Next, assess what you want.
What is it you ultimately want, and what do you want out ofthisspecific relationship?
Once you answer those questions for yourself, then you’ll know what to ask the other person.
(Here are sometypes of relationshipsandrelationship labelsto consider.)
Prepare yourself for what they might say and how you’ll react.
Be mindful of how you start the conversation.
Don’t make a formal announcement using a trite phrase like, “We need to talk.”
Ask open-ended questions.
Sonnenberg also suggests asking “open-ended questions instead of ones that require a definitive yes or no answer.”
Use “I” statements.
What do you think?”
“How they respond is out of your control.”
