Breaking up with someone vs. getting broken up with.
But it’s also not easy to be the person who makes thedecision to end a relationship.
How long does it really take to get over a breakup?
On top of that, where the relationship was at the time of the breakup is significant.
Did everything seem fine and normal?
Or was it becoming clear things were starting to steadily fall apart?
are important to take into account.
The shock of a breakup is all about pain, disorganization, and confusion, Gullick tells mbg.
You may venture to rationalize it and feel an immense need to understand what went wrong.
“Often, it’s bewildering,” she says.
Asking things like “Why did this happen?”
or “How could they do this to me?”
in an attempt to understand isn’t uncommon.
“They just don’t understand it, and the question of ‘Why, why, why?’
This is a first response.”
Hallett notes questions like “What do I need to do differently?”
and “Can we just have another chance and give it another spin?”
may be tempting to ask.
We’ll think about all the what-ifs, and we often blame ourselves for where the relationship went wrong.
This stage can come from a lot of different places depending on the context of the relationship.
Are you angry because your partner cheated?
Angry because the breakup was out of the blue?
Angry with yourselfor themfor not investing more in the relationship?
It can even be a combination of these things.
To grieve a relationship is completely normal and to be expected.
She notes this can spur feelings of depression, emptiness, and apathy.
Things like self-doubt and desperation can also creep in, as well as loneliness and abandonment.
The bottom line.
But however these stages look for you, she adds that all of them can be worked through.
Breakups are tough and call for plenty of self-love and lots of support from your loved ones.
