If you don’t have a morning, bedtime, or fitness routine yet, that’s OK. On deeper inquiry, these clients revealed that they started these habits because some book or method promised success.
Then they dropped off midway, never to return.
But when I talk about new habits, I’m not just talking about routines and rituals.
These are all habits that can be cultivated.
Despite the best of intentions, we blindly take those on, and then we stumble.
Sometimes we are told to simply recite a mantra to change our mindset.
Second, you might never get there and then feel disheartened.
For others, we end up falling through the cracks.
There’s also the case of analysis-paralysis.
Often the answer is “family dynamics” or “my childhood.”
While there is a place for understanding your background, it’s far from the be-all and end-all.
Our emotions andtrauma are stored in our body; intellectualizing them away doesn’t always help.
Finally, there’s the good ol' case of sabotage.
This has nothing to do with their character flaw or weaknessit’s human nature.
The brain resists change, so we often sabotage our own behaviors.
Once someone rises up from that week, though, they realize they have the power to do anything.
The 3 Bs of building habits
Don’t get me wrong.
I’m not blasting the above methods.
In fact, I practice them both personally and professionally.
What I’m saying isthey aren’t enough on their own.
This way, we make decisions from a grounded and wiser place rather thancreating more messes to clean up.
More importantly, my friends andmeditation teachers Tay and Valsay, “We take about 21,600 breaths each day.
The breath is the anchor upon which we remind ourselves to return to the practice of our new habit.
Our breath is also the most direct way for us to access our nervous systemactivating the parasympathetic system.
This helps us access more resources (energy and attention) toward forming the new habit.”
And rest assured, I’m not advocating for you to take weeks off to go to a retreat.
A great resource to learn more about breathwork is James Nestor’s bookBreathand thembgpodcast episode with Nestor.
Most importantly, make this brain reset a habit.
I use it when I’m transitioning from one activity to another, as a kind of boundary.
This way, I’malwaystaking care of my mind.
Brain
First, ascertain how much you gotta understand why you do what you do.
Second, figure out the realwhyfor doing what you do.
Third, get clear on the stories you tell yourself.
Unearthing these stories can be done with a professional and may take time.
Fourth, know that you’ll sabotage yourself.
It’s not you; it’s human nature.
Whatever it is, you have to remind yourself this: It’s aboutcommitting to recommitting.
This means creating structures and environments that unwire your bad habits and rewire new helpful habits.
Some things that work include:
The takeaway
Cultivating new habits requires thoughtfulness.
If you’ve felt disheartened in the past, perhaps you had one of the Bs missing.
Why not run a post-mortem and ask yourself what you’d do differently today with this knowledge?
Then, execute it.
I’m rooting for you!
