Endings are always painful, and breakups can be profoundly devastating.
“People expect grief to get smaller with time, but actually, your life grows around it.
You don’t just ‘get over it.’
We need to give it shape and meaning.”
Every breakup is unique, and healing happens in its own time.
It’s also pointless to try for healing when your feelings are so raw.
So, before doing anything else, take the time to sit with your emotions.
It’s OK to cry and vent.
This initial period of emotional indulgence is not only understandable but necessary.
Not only does it not work, it intensifies the pain.
It will also delay the recovery process.
Escape from your reality into the comforting pages of a beloved book.
Let your favorite music lull you to sleep.
Watch an old favorite movie.
Do activities that bring back smiles and laughter, even briefly.
These activities, though simple, can provide a sense of calm and familiarity in a time of upheaval.
Ceasing contactin real life and online can significantly aid your recovery.
Those who want to be friends eventually can reestablish their connection after they’ve both moved on and healed.
Consider it self-preservation 101.
It will hinder your attempts at creating the distance and detachment necessary for healing.
Moreover, the act of throwing away such objects can be empowering.
It symbolizes a fresh start and gives you control over your environment and emotional state.
Draw strength from your support system
Spending time with friends and family can offer a healthy distraction.
They balance empathy with practical advice and can encourage you to take constructive steps forward.
“Engaging with a support connection is vital.
Write your heart out!
The exercise will be very cathartic.
According to Scott-Hudson, writing will help you connect with and understand your true feelings.
Of course, you need not send the letter.
“Addressing mental and physical well-being is essential for comprehensive recovery,” she notes.
Establish new health goals, join groups, go for a run, and connect with nature.
Think of it as reconnecting with an old friend and getting to know them all over again.
You now see who you are, not as one half of a couple but as an individual.
“It begins a new chapter in your life.
Exploring new contexts different from what you shared in the relationship is important in the messy, painful aftermath.
This often means reclaiming parts of your identity lost in the relationship.”
Doing so can prove exciting and reinvigorating enough to help you release the heaviness and despair of heartbreak.
The empathy in such groups will act like a balm on your wounded soul.
Such controls can also encourage self-reflection and facilitate emotional processing, leading to positive growth.
“Learning these techniques helps the recovery process greatly and supports healthy future relationships,” he adds.
Consider subtle but meaningful changes.
Experiment with your wardrobe, social demeanor, and interests.
If you’re an introvert, be more outgoing and gregarious during the next social event.
Try going to movies and dinners alone.
While your personal life undergoes this transition, be more ambitious professionally.
Give your recovery structure by establishing atimelineto balance emotional healing with forward movement.
Setting realistic goals and milestones can help you monitor your progress toward a healthier you.
Steady, measured progress will reinforce your inner strength and self-belief, creating momentum for continued healing.
Physical activities are known for their positive effects on mental and emotional health.
Exercise releases endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety.
Creative pursuits like painting, writing, or playing music can provide an emotional outlet.
Immersing yourself in such pursuits can provide a much-needed break from ruminative thoughts and contribute to overall well-being.
Thankfully, a therapist or a mental health counselor can help.
The nonjudgmental and supportive environment a therapist provides can make navigating complex thoughts and processing difficult emotions easier.
They can also teach you coping mechanisms uniquely suited to your struggles.
“Recovery is never linear,” Boscaljon rightly points out.
Group coaching is another good option that can also give you the added benefit of communal support.
Forgiveness can help calm this bubbling cauldron of emotions.
It can help you release the weight of guilt and anger.
However, it’s not always easy to forgive.
Boscaljon suggests acknowledging the positive changes you’ve undergone during the relationship.
So, do the work.
Don’t take on the pressure of finding a new partner.
Simply enjoy the process.
The pain will still be there, only now it will be accompanied by a wicked hangover.
To forget someone old, sex with someone new might seem like a good idea.
Focus on healthy healing and recovery, not temporary moments of forgetfulness.
“You must put your focus back on yourself.
Lash out at your ex
Venting helps, but not this kind.
In fact, it may worsen the sense of unworthiness that can follow a breakup.
Instead, confide in close friends or family members who respect your privacy and offer genuine support.
So, exercise caution before you make any irrevocable changes to your appearance.
Self-denigration
Feeling rejected, even lacking in specific ways, is natural in a breakup.
Self-denigration and self-blame will only exacerbate your condition.
Instead, you mustbecome your allyand focus solely on moving forward.
So, don’t date someone new till you’ve fully processed the loss of your previous relationship.
“Breakups are supposed to hurtit’s the breaking of an attachment.
Shutting down & bottling up
It can be intimidating to express strong emotions.
As Chriszto shares, breakups have a profound emotional impact.
To heal, we must process these emotions.
It’s better to take a few days to yourself but remain in touch with your loved ones.
Let them remind you that there are people willing to take your back and share your load.
Understanding can help, but only if it leads you to acceptance.
If necessary, take it one step at a time.
As Chriszto tells mindbodygreen, “Resist idealizing the past or demonizing the ex-partner.
Realistic acceptance of the relationship’s strengths and weaknesses facilitates a healthier perspective.”
FAQ:
What are the 5 stages of a breakup?
Romantic breakups typically mirror the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
However, remember that progress can be erratic, and you may travel back and forth betweenstages.
How do I get over a breakup with someone I still love?
Go no-contact with your ex and allow yourself to fully feel and release all your emotions.
Engage in self-care and wellness practices that provide healthy distractions while creating a sense of renewal and strength.
Lean on friends and family.
How long does it take to get over a breakup?
Recovery and healing can also vary depending on the strength and sensitivity of an individual.
How do I stop overthinking after a breakup?
Seek to understand the factors that led to the breakup, including your role.
Such insights can provide closure and help you move forward.
you’re able to also assign a fixed time and duration to overthinking.
Consciously stop yourself from overthinking at any other time.
Do activities that engage the mind.
But to do so, you must become your own biggest advocate.
Let self-compassion lead, and allowforgivenessto soothe away your anger.
Use the lessons learned to navigate future relationships and other complex journeys better.
Suppose you manage to heal healthily and avoid falling intoharmful patterns.
