It’s never easy toleave a person you care for.
So, take a deep breath.
the feelings of paralysis and uncertainty are a perfectly normal reaction and should be expected.
After all, decoupling signifies a time of intense and overwhelming change.
“All change comes with some grief,” Nguyen tells mbg.
As you’re sorting through your feelings, your mind might be spinning with what-ifs and fickleness.
Value differences and incompatibilities may be the reason the relationship cannot continue to sustain itself.
“Take a hard and honest look at your values.
Remind yourself what led to you and/or your partner deciding to separate.
When it feels like we’redrifting apart, perhaps we may talk and find a common direction.
Sometimes that can be repaired, and both of you could continue on a common course.
Sometimes it’s not worth the energy.”
Not wanting to hurt someone you care about makes it harder to immediately land on acceptance about your decision.
“Accept that you made a decision based on the limited information available,” Nguyen advises.
“No one will ever be able to get a full and impartial view of what happened.
Give yourself some empathy that you did the best that you could with what you have.”
You’re more scared about what’s next than actually missing them.
Will I feel lonely?
Will I be able to meet anyone else?
What if this was a mistake?
When you’re thinking about the breakup, there can be a lot ofsadness and painaround shared memories.
Perhaps your life with them was easy and comforting, and imagining being on your own is terrifying.
But don’t let fear enable you to regress from your decision.
“The problem with the unknown is that it is precisely that: unknowable.
We may not know answers to these questions for a while, if ever.
“Remember that you are never truly trapped,” notes Nguyen.
“While we can’t change the past, there are many more options in the future.
Maybe there is room for an ongoing conversation with this person.
Perhaps we have to move on and begin dating one of the many other wonderful people in the world.
Or even give time to ourselves to be single.
