About9% of women have never had an orgasm1, according to research.
That’s one in 10.
I refer to such women aspre-orgasmic, because they have not climaxedyet.
The good news is, virtually all women can learn how to orgasm.
For manywomen who struggle to reach orgasm, there can be feelings of shame, disappointment, and frustration.
They may feel disconnected from themselves sexually or deficient somehow.
The absence of orgasm (also known asanorgasmia) can catalyze feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.
But shame, inadequacy, and anxiety are themselves huge barriers to orgasm.
Not all sex needs to include orgasms.
Instead, focus your sexual experiences on feeling the most pleasure possible.
If you’re having fun and feeling good, that’s what matters.
Watch what you put in your mouth.
Low libido can also be tied to hormonal imbalances.
Some medications like antidepressants or birth control pills can also reduce key arousal-related hormonal functions.
Prioritize stress relief.
Commit yourself to some kind of stress relief routine, and really commit!
Stress makes the body produce cortisol, and cortisol interrupts all the happy hormones of sexual arousal.
Find ways to de-stress, especially around the experience of intimacy.
check that you feel safe and have astrong sexual connection with your partner.
(Here are a few ways tomake sex better for women, in general.)
Retrain your brain to view orgasms differently.
In the absence of physical constrictions or hormonal issues, orgasm is largely about the brain.
It’s all about arousal, after all.
Unfortunately, emotional and psychological patterning can block the arousal-to-orgasm trajectory.
So consider what makes you feel aroused, and identify what path your arousal takes.
Does it peak, then stop?
Does it fizzle out?
Does it never get liftoff?
Find a metaphor for what you’d like to happen instead.
Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate.
(Note: Most women will not reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.
Clitoral stimulation is almost always necessary.
Vibrators help alot.)
Get yourself on a steady diet of exploratory self-pleasure at least once a week.
Ditch the goal of having orgasms during this, too.
Pleasure is the goal, not orgasms.
Get some extra help.
With time, focus, and ample self-love, amazing things can happen.
