“My husband has never made me come.”
If it’s possible for you to’t reach orgasm with your partner, you’re not alone.
I truly believed that I would never be able to learn how to reach orgasm with a partner.
Spoiler alert: I finally did learn!
I don’t fake orgasms.
I faked tons of orgasms over the course of many years and several relationships.
I wanted him to feel like he was good in bed.
It was tough, but I resolved to never fake another orgasm, and I stuck to that promise.
I tell myself I deserve to have orgasms.
Like so many other women out there, I struggled to receive.
I didn’t want to give feedback because I didn’t know what to say.
It felt easier to forget about my own pleasure and instead focus on my partner.
I keep exploring my orgasm on my own.
As I mentioned, I first learned how to reach orgasm on my own.
(Here’s our full guide tohow to make a woman reach orgasm.)
I also took this one step further.
I used to use only one very specific technique with myself.
I practice mindfulness.
Like so many other women, I struggle to stay focused during sex.
I used to beat myself up for getting distracted during sex, then distract myself even more.
I realized that working on this skill separately made it a lot easier to learn.
I don’t expect to reach orgasm from penetration.
I thought that because intercourse worked for my male partners, it should work for my body too.
I’ve learned how to reach orgasmduringintercourse, just notfromthe in-and-out penetration itself.
I recognize that orgasm is an active process, not a passive one.
These articles make it seem like orgasm is a passive process.
So that’s what I did for many years.
I literally and figuratively took my pleasure into my own hands.
I stopped having selfless sex and started having selfish sex.
I faked orgasms so my partner could get to feel like he was good in bed.
I focused all of my attention on my partner and none on myself.
