Meeting your partner’s parents is an important step in the relationship.
How long should you wait to meet your partner’s parents?
“Every relationship is different,” says relationship therapistJaime Bronstein, LCSW.
“it’s crucial that you do what feels right and appropriate for yours.”
All three dismiss the notion that there comes a definitivestage of the relationshipwhen you should meet the parents.
However, Bronstein believes that itispossible to make the move too soon.
“Just honor your voice.
Don’t jump into it or be pressured to do something you’re not ready to do.
How to prepare.
You’re being invited further into your significant other’s life.
Though you don’t want to do any hard-core research, be sure you’re aware of important details.
For instance, see to it you know the proper pronunciation of their names.
Ask about dietary restrictions so you don’t show up with crab dip if mom has a seafood allergy.
“The goal should be intentionality,” Asha says.
What to wear.
Don’t stress about what to wear when meeting the parents.
Put on something you feel relaxed in, short of loungewear.
“Obviously, you want to be respectful,” Bronstein says.
“But dress like yourself.
Tips for making a great first impression:
Be yourself.
“A good first impression is an honest first impression,” Asha says.
Show up how you want to be received.
She echoes the sentiment of authenticity but suggests putting your best foot forward.
Show up as the best version of you.
Peel the onion.
Actively engage in getting to know your partner’s parents.
Bronstein recommends accomplishing this by “peeling the onion” during the conversation.
Delve into the things they say, one layer at a time.
Askfollow-up questionsand show that you want to understand them.
Go with the flow.
Don’t aim to control the interaction.
Being pushy or rigid is a fast way to turn someone off.
Bring a gift.
Something such as a bottle of their favorite wine if you have dinner at their house would be perfect.
Be present.
“you could never go wrong with staying in the moment,” Bronstein says.
Be gracious.
No matter how things go, your partner’s parents took time out of their day to meet you.
Let them know you appreciate that.
What to talk about & questions to ask.
You and your partner’s parents have one definite thing in common: You all care about your partner.
Asha recommends using this mutual interest as a catalyst for discussion.
“However, we believe in just testing the water before you jump in.
You want your partner’s parents to welcome you into their family with open arms.
“That can make things hard.
But boundaries need to be set with both your parents.”
Don’t allow their opinions to dictate your behavior or your relationship.
Live with the results and let them learn to love you for you.
