Women always ask me, “Why do I keep dating jerks?”
My answer often stuns them.
“You’re probably making it happen,” I tell them.
Sounds like tough love, and maybe it is.
But there’s actually a deeper meaning behind it: We attract what we think we deserve.
Here’s how to break the cycle.
You won’t recognize your own patterns.
you’ve got the option to’t stop re-enacting the past.
It’ll get better.
It’s called “growing pains” for a reasongrowth is painful.
It can feel very uncomfortable at first.
But the rewards are worth it.
You haven’t owned up to your own behaviors.
Own the fact that you are the one bringing the wrong people into your life.
You don’t believe you deserve it.
Good partners are attracted to women who are confident and have healthy boundaries.
Bad partners are attracted to women who are broken inside because they can manipulate and take advantage of them.
This is what we call the “law of attraction.”
One way to get there is to take a break from dating to work on you.
One breathing technique to try is the breath of arousal used in Tantra.
With every exhale pull your bellybutton to the back of your spine to empty your belly of air.
With every inhale, allow your belly button to expand and let your stomach fill up like a balloon.
Do this as rapidly as you could.
It might even feel like hyperventilating, but it increases your metabolism and builds your inner fire.
You’re not opening up your heart.
Everyone says they have an open heart, but is it truly open?
You’re probably still thinking, “Yes!”
It’s because you are afraid to leave and you’re not open to change.
To open your heart, you have to get past that fear and be open to the unknown.
One of my teachers taught me a meditation called the Tantric Heart.
Visualize that your soul is the queen of your life and her throne is your heart.
Your heart is supposed to make all of the decisions in your life from fearlessness.
But your mind is the frightened servant that guards the door to your heart.
If we were hurt in the past, over time our minds lock that door out of fear.
To open that doorand open your heartyou need to get past the fear.
Use a daily affirmation with breath work to open your heart chakra.
When you exhale slowly, say, “Exhaling, I let go of fear.”
Start your day with five minutes of this and you will feel a change.
Other people will see a change in you, too.
