I’m in my 40sand Ive learned how to be comfortable and confident in who I am.
Im not fumbling around in the dark trying to figure myself out whilealsoattempting to find my person.
Not everydating appor site is going to work for people who are in this stage of life.
Matchis a popular dating site known for its emphasis on serious relationships.
(mbg has afull Match reviewwith more details on all the features.)
Notably, the users are generally older and more conservative.
In general, though, Match is not for people wanting hookups or to waste time.
This is for folks who want to invest time and money into finding a dedicated and specific relationship.
Its compatibility ratings are really helpful in helping to understand a potential date before you even meet them.
Users can skip ahead to attempt to get noticed by matches by writing an intro to potential interests.
My OkCupid experience is twofold.
I used OkCupid in its previous iteration before it turned into the swipe-based app that it is now.
Quizzes still dominate the experience, which serves as a fun way to get the whole thing going again.
I remembered answering hundreds of questions before and am currently only at about 30 or so.
One pet peeve: You are automatically shared in other Match groups that you may not be interested in.
This is found in the controls, and there doesnt appear to be an option to turn it off.
Subscriptions cost $35 on a month-to-month basis or $17/month if you sign up for six months.
Hinge is for relationships.
The swipe-based app has question prompts that folks can fill in answers with text or audio to complete.
Folks can also interact with video prompts on their profiles as well as after matching.
Ive used Hinge for almost three years now, and my experience has been fairly mixed.
I actually am friends with one of them despite things not working out as they were really mature.
The person lied on the app about where they were from, and oh so much more.
It was a really terrible experience that made me pause dating for about half a year.
I know that that is not the totality of the experience for others, but that was mine.
Experiences vary, and perhaps I just ran into a really, really bad one.
Hinge has a solid free version that works well.
(And FWIW, it’s notimpossibleto find love or even marriage on this app.)
That definitely dovetails into how I use the app; see below.
People on Tinder are pretty what you see is what you get in a lot of ways.
Tinder’s free version has everything you oughta swipe, match, and chat.
When she matches with someone, she will have a limited amount of time to message the person.
The other person will then be able to respond in 24 hours before the match is closed.
That said, I didnt find luck on Bumble this round.
To be honest, I personally prefer to be messaged first.
So does Liz, 46, who tells me, I actually like when they message first.
I actually haven’t had much luck on Bumble.
I did end up messaging a few people on Bumble to get out of my comfort zone.
I matched with a few people who didnt respond or who just dropped the conversation entirely out of nowhere.
Premium accounts vary from as short as a week to an entire lifetime subscription.
you’re free to also buy a lifetime membership for $250.
EnterStir, a dating app designed specifically for single parents.
While users do not have to be single parents, most folks on the app are.
Tori’s experience
While I didnt personally use this app, forty-year-old single mom Tori did.
Stir is like a low-grade option of Match, she tells me.
She met a partner who she dated briefly with the app.
The person had messaged her and came up in her matches.
For her, it was important to be matched with someone who had kids already and didnt want anymore.
She has her own children and went on get-togethers with the person she met on Stir with their kids.
They arranged hangouts that worked for their schedules and allowed their kids to hang out while they conversed.
Her relationship didnt work out, but she did find the experience to be positive.
Stir premium accounts vary from as short as a week to a six-month subscription.
According toreviews, its easily the most popular site for Christian singles and known for producing successful relationships.
Folks can discuss how often they go to church, their religious preferences, and what they are seeking.
(There are also similar dating apps for other religions, such asJDateandSalams, depending on your faith.)
I received several heartfelt messages from folks who wanted to connect.
These are folks looking for long-term commitments (not hookups) who are being served in this app.
Its absolutely an app that folks who are dedicated to their faith should consider.
La Vette
La Vetteis a different kind of dating app.
Its specificallynotabout swipe culture or photoshopped pictures.
In fact, it is the only app on this list that is not a swipe-based dating system.
The onboarding experience had a little bit of a learning curve because the app is so different.
It is best viewed on a desktop or laptop computer.
The community is also very small currently, with only about 500 users as of this writing.
I can see promise in using this app for an extended period of time even outside of dating purposes.
The crowd was a bit older with several people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
These are serious daters who are committed to their dating journey.
Out of all of the dating apps I tried, this one was the most exciting to me personally.
Im really looking forward to seeing how this develops.
La Vette is currently completely free to use, though they plan to go premium in the future.
All users are vetted and background-checked before gaining entry.
Are you looking for a relationship?
If the answer to that question is yes, you better maximize first dates.
Be relatively open-minded about second dates.
Be relatively open-minded aboutsecond dates, Worthy says.
This second date is really the make-or-break date.
How does your chemistry mix?
Be absolutely merciless about third dates.
Those are Worthys words, not mine: Be absolutely merciless about third dates.
At this point, if you are genuinely not interested in continuing, you should tell them.
To be honest, I’m not feeling the way I would want to feel to take this further.
I’m going to say goodbye here.
I wish you the best of luck.
If its still not there, you should cut your losses and go back to the drawing board.
In fact, one recent study from 2023 indicated adirect correlation between loneliness and cognitive decline3.
Its not wasting time with maybes or people who just dont spark.
Its adventurous but also down to business.
If one gravitates toward very specific physical traits, you may find yourself swiping away with disappointment.
Its important to be mindful of how aging affects all of us.
Getting outside of standard types can be really exciting if you allow yourself that chance.
This pop in of dating isintentionalandcarefully curated.
Its about trying new pathways and foregoing the foolish completely carefree abandon one might have had in previous decades.
If youre wondering if the 40s are too old for Tinder or Hinge, youre wrong.
There are lots of folks in their mid to late thirties and forties on both of these apps.
Not all of them are jerks or people exclusively looking for hookups.
Youll find lots of options that are actually looking for serious relationships with the right people.
Is Tinder worth it if you’re over 40?
Tinder can absolutely be worth it for someone in their 40s.
You are absolutely not too old here.
What dating site has the highest success rate?
Believe it or not, I personally had the best success rate with overall matches onTinderandOkCupidrather thanHinge.
Invest your time in the places and connections that you feel connect with your higher values and intentions.
Go on lots of first dates, but be particular about who you go on third dates with.
Additional writing and reporting bySarah Regan.
