Once I was riding in a car back from Joshua Tree with a few progressive people whom I love.
It was a long car ride, and the conversation turned to sex.
A friend mentioned that the man she was dating loved blow jobs.
The car went quiet.
What did I say?
Was it the trance of bliss or…the kink?
It was consensual, of course, but I had crossed some sort of invisible line.
Couldn’t conscious spanking exist?
And where is safe to talk about real sex if not with people we love?"
Did someone in the car experience an encounter similar to mine that didn’t result in arousal?
Was it the wrong space to chat about sex openly?
But if so, where is the right one?
When we talk about sex, there’s a possibility shame or pain will arise.
But does that mean we keep hiding it away?
With love and understanding and intentionality and no judgment.
But we often bring it to other areas of life, too!
It can show up as menstrual cramps, IBS, self-confidence issues.
Sexual shame is often an elephant in the room in today’s world.
Here again, as with every part of the transformational process, change begins with awareness.
Becoming aware of sexual shame.
From here, we can begin to process emotions that are stored away relating to your sexuality.
Your core wounds may come up, reflected in your daily life, relationships, and thoughts.
You may attract somesituations that trigger your woundingand may serve as opportunities for healing.
Remember, this is how you know it’s working!
This is not a bad thing.
It’s really important to let yourself feel whatever surfaces and not be afraid.
Each emotion, each trigger, and each memory that arises is important.
I trust you to trust yourself and tread with gentleness and care.
When to take a pause and breathe.
And when to keep going into the work.
Moving forward.
And most of that I did on a very limited budget; somehow I called it in.
It’s definitely been a 360 approach, and I didn’t have a road map.
I went with my gut.
So go with yours.
Feel into what is right for you.
Keep up with your daily practice.Take impeccable care of yourself.
Ask a friend for support.
Take anEpsom salt bath.
Whatever you do, letting the feelings move out of your body is key.
Instead, look at it as an opportunity to reclaim some of your power.
