Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and it should be treated as such.
What it means to get gaslighted.
All these feelings are normal afteranybreakup but especially so after a breakup with a gaslighter.
That’s a unique pop in of hurt.
It’s OK to not feel good right now.
You may even feel like you don’t know who you are anymore.
Just remember: it’s possible for you to and will heal.
What to do after you’ve been gaslighted.
Remember that no one will ever be good enough for the gaslighter.
This is how the gaslighter worksthey idealize you and then devalue you.
You didn’t do anything to cause someone to treat you this way.
Gaslighters have a bottomless pit of need, and feeling powerful at your expense is how they fill it.
Never blame yourselfit’s not your fault whatsoever.
Cut off all communication with the gaslighter.
The longer you are away from the gaslighter, the more you will heal.
(If you have kids with a gaslighter, seek the advice of an attorney.)
Don’t compare yourself to the gaslighter’s new flame.
They will do this to their next partner too.
The gaslighter will do anything to get that bottomless pit of need filled.
Take time to reconnect with your identity.
Gaslighting can often make you lose sight of not just reality but also yourself.
Now, it’s time to reconnect with yourself.
Write down what you love, what drives you crazy, and what you fear.
Writing feelings down helps get them out of our head and helps us not overanalyze.
By writing down what happened, you’ve got the option to start letting it go.
Additionally, take time to write down what you gained by going through this experience.
You learned that you have a fountain of strength within you.
You may be even more empathetic than before; maybe you might now educate others about gaslighting.
Create a psychological first-aid kit.
What are the things that give you energy?
Create a list of the activities that raise you upI call this a “psychological first-aid kit.”
Turn to it in times when it’s crucial that you practice some good self-care.
Meditation has also helped many survivors of gaslighting find themselves again.
Practice forgiveness.
Most importantly, it’s time to forgive yourself.
Remember that you are enough and always have been enough.
You didn’t do anything to “make” the gaslighter behave a certain way.
You did the best you could, considering the circumstances.
Gaslighters turn up the manipulative behavior slowlyso it can be very difficult to catch what they are doing.
You have grown and learned from this experience, and you’ll only be stronger going forward.
