Penis-in-vagina intercourse isn’t likely to make a woman come.
The real secret to how to cum lies in the clitoris.
Here’s everything it’s crucial that you know and a bunch of techniques to try.
“Have you ever looked at your vulva?
Get a mirror and look at it.
Figure out what’s erotic to you.
Do you know how your body responds when you’re sexually turned on?”
Use this knowledge as a base to build on once you begin tomasturbate.
Some ideas:
When in doubt, remember to alternate the two Ps: pressure and position.
Don’t focus entirely on your clit.
Play with your nipples, stroke or pull your hair, touch your inner thighs and your ass.
Run your fingers over your neck and shoulders.
Basically, imagine the kinds of touch that a lover would do for you and recreate them yourself.
You could even use nipple clamps or a butt plug to ramp up the sensations.
Do you like fantasies?
Are there certain smells that are erotic, like candles or oils?
Do you like listening to moaning or other kinds of noises?"
Don’t be afraid of sex toys
Vibratorsare an orgasm’s best friend.
Many people swear by wand-style vibrators for guaranteed orgasms.
They provide a deep and intense rumbling sensation, which can be overwhelming at first.
Lube, lube, and more lube
Lubeis one of the most underrated additions to masturbation.
Even if you have no problems getting and staying wet, lube can still feel amazing and intensify sensations.
Don’t be ashamed to reach for it when you’re playing solo.
Try one of these17 all-natural lubes.
Multimedia, baby!
Watchpornor look at images you find arousing.
Hell, you’re able to even write your own erotica!
Take your time
Sometimes having an orgasm is a marathon and not a sprint.
you gotta give yourself space to not feel stressed or under pressure.
Don’t assume they’ll just magically hit the right buttons for you!
Once you know what you like through coming by yourself, bring that information to your partner.
Could you spend longer on it next time we have sex?"
instead of “You always stop doing XYZ too soon when we have sex.”
Stand in front of the mirror and practice telling your partner what you like and how you want it.
you might explain what you’re doing as you go along.
This is not only instructional but can be super hot as well.
“Showing a partner what feels good can be super sexy for you and them,” she says.
De-center penetration
As mentioned previously, mostwomen cannot come from penetration alone.
Instead of following the expected route of kissing to oral to intercourse, try shaking it up entirely.
This does both you and your partner a disservice.
They won’t know how to really kindly you, and you won’t…be pleased.
Be honest and direct about what you need.
“However, being able to communicate your needs to your partner can help them commit to your pleasure.
Use sex toys
They’re not just for masturbation!
She suggests that bringingvibratorsinto partnered sex can be a great way to ensure you’re getting off.
Involve your partner in picking out a toy that feels good for both of you.
An orgasm is something you are worthy of, not something to feel ashamed of or guilty for pursuing.
Advocating for yourself and your needs and desires is a source of power.
Namely, the key to getting off for most women is the holy grail ofclitoral stimulation.
Studies done since then have returnedsimilar results1.
The data is clear:Clitoral stimulation cannot be sidelined2.
Or to be clear, heterosexual women achieve orgasm much less often than their male counterparts.
Lesbian women on the other hand said that they orgasmed a solid 86% of the time.
The secret to achieving orgasm isn’t tied up in biology.
Rather it lies in thesociocultural and interpersonal realms.
That said, taking control of our orgasms as women can be incredibly empowering.
