Question: Dear Psalm, I have an oral fixationI love kissing.
(I am also a smoker.)
How can I satisfy that urge when I’m not in a relationship?
This can apply to eating, drinking, smoking, kissing, anything really.
Smoking is also a way to calm nerves, and you get a buzz from the nicotine.
If this is a true oral fixation in Freudian terms, it might be responsible for your smoking habit.
The most important thing is to slow down and be present and mindful during these oral pleasures.
Consider applying that to your eating, smoking, and even sexual habits.
Quality trumps quantity, after all.
Do you have a sexual oral fixation?
Now, I’d like to turn your focus to a healthier way to satisfy your oral fixation.
you might do it while single and/or with a partner.
And, it might even help you kick the smoking habit as well.
That is very likely the underlying issue hereyour anxiety causes you to seek relief through oral pleasure.
So, let’s replace a potentially unhealthy habit with one that pays dividends over time.
I
KISS is an acronym.
Intimate: Tantric principles create deeper intimacy and make a true “heart connection” through mindful sexuality.
Starting with that foundation, add a small piece of healthy, dark chocolate to this meditation.
you’re able to also use this practice as foreplay.
Sight:
Hold a small piece of chocolate in your hand and just look at it.
Most of the time, we eat our food so quickly we don’t even realize we’re eating.
Really look at what you are about to consume.
Take two to three long, deep breaths, while you just look at the chocolate.
It builds anticipation of that first delicious bite.
You’ll find that waiting to eat it actually makes it taste better.
Smell:
Wave the piece of chocolate under your nose and take in the seductive aroma.
As you smell it, take several long, deep breaths.
You might start to salivate.
Your sense of smell triggers your body to create the correct enzymes to digest whatever you’re eating.
Get closer to your partner.
Tell them what you like about it.
Touch:
Trace the outline of your lips with the piece of chocolate.
This is building up more anticipation, and you’re probably salivating even stronger now.
Notice how the chocolate feels on your soft, wet lips.
Appreciate the creamy, silky, smooth, and sensual texture of the chocolate on your lips.
Trace the outline of your partner’s lips with your fingertips.
Have them do the same.
Do this for three to five full breaths.
Then put the piece of chocolate in your mouth, but don’t chew or swallow it.
Place it on your tongue, close your eyes and your mouth, and just let it melt.
Trace the outline of your partner’s lips with your tongue.
Let them do the same to you.
Keep moving slowly, explore, and maintain the sensuality of the experience.
Hearing:
As it’s melting, hum loudlymaking anmmmsound.
The vibration in your mouth combined with the sensual flavor and texture of chocolate can be very arousing.
It engages yet another sense and keeps your mind focused on these sensations.
Notice as the chocolate starts to melt and changes shape in your mouth.
