Maybe you hate your body.
Or maybe you just wish your body looked different.
You’re not alone:Research shows1up to 84% of American women experience body dissatisfaction in their lifetimes.
Going from “I hate my body” to something more positive will take time and conscious effort.
“The fact that you acknowledge you want to change is how you start to change.
Acknowledgment is 50% of the labor.”
The first step to changing how you feel about your body is committing to the change.
Tell yourself,I want to have a positive relationship with my body.
And ensure you mean it!
“But the whole thing is a myth.
Looking a certain way will not make you happy.
Look at all the literal fashion models with drug addictions and eating disorders!”
“Human life involves beauty and suffering for everyone,” Loewentheil explains.
Peace and happiness have to come from inside."
But bending over backwardto meet their impossible idealswill not help you feel better about yourself.
Is your body the problem, or are the ideals the problem?
What if you stopped trying to appease others at your own expense?
Try repeating this to yourself:I deserve to be loved and accepted in this exact body.
I will no longer entertain people or messages that tell me otherwise.
You deserve to be loved and accepted in your exact body.
So does everyone else.
Take control of what images and messages you allow into your brain.
Do they make you feel empowered?
If you’re a person of color, up your intake of content featuring black and brown joy.
There are so manyways to get to know your bodyon a deeper level.
For example, if you’ve got a uterus, try tracking your menstrual cycle in more detail.
One particularly powerful way of getting embodied is through doing a mindfulness exercise called abody scan.
What sensations are you feeling up there?
After a few moments, move down to your face and do the same.
Then to your neck.
Then to your shoulders.
And so on and so forth all the way down to your feet.
Darnell’s suggestion: “Right now, where are you, what are you sitting on?
Notice how it feels…hard, soft, cold, warm, damp, sticky, etc.
What parts of your body is it connecting with?
What are your feet doing right now?
What about the inside of your cheek?
This is how you tune into your body.”
Maybe that’s setting aside a few minutes to just give yourself a hand massage.
Maybe it’s putting on your softest, fuzziest pair of socks to wear around the house.
This is all about training your brain to associate your body with positive feelings.
“Our bodies are primed for pleasure.
The whole purpose of us having a body is for us to feel good.”
Feed your senses, she recommends.
Really engage with them.
“That creates body connection, and that body connection helps disintegrate the body hate.”
“Understanding that you are worthy of sexual pleasure is so powerful.
You, in whatever body shape, right now, can and deserve to experience pleasure.”
There are so manybenefits of masturbation, so do it often.
Treat yourself to good sex toys andindulgent self-pleasure rituals.
“You get to appreciate what it’s capable of.”
There’s so much rigidity.
“I’m going to be very mindful in the dancing.
Like I’m not going to just dance it out.
I’m going to breathe.
I’m going to ask myself, what emotions are coming up for me in this moment?
As I move my arms like this, what emotion wants to be released?
Or as I move my hips like this, what am I shaking loose?”
“Our bodies carry us through our days with so much strength and grace.
Our bodies are also capable of infinite amounts of pleasure!
Exercise in a way that brings you joy,” Stubbs says.
Exerciseis a natural way to increase energy, reduce stress, and keep our bodies healthy.
Exercise as a way to love your bodynot as a way to change or fight it.
This bolsters shame and negativity around our bodies.
Dress your body like it’s a piece of artwork.
Be intentional, attentive, and expressive.
We send the messageto others and to ourselvesthat this is a body that is loved.
Fight fatphobia
What are your feelings around being fat?
Fatphobia is the fear or hatred of fatness.
Ask yourself this: What’s wrong with being fat?
Sure, being overweight is strongly linked to many significant health problems.
Stressed people also don’t getdiscriminated against in the workplace4ormistreated by their doctors5in the same way fat people do.
That’s all the product of fatphobia.
Undoing internalized fatphobia isn’t easy, of course.
Do mirror work
Learning to love your body will not happen overnight.
Importantly, however, don’t force love if it’s not there just yet.
“Let go of having to love it,” Darnell says.
“If you don’t get there, it will be another reason to beat yourself up.
Stop piling on the shame.
Can you attempt to find a few things that you perhaps like instead?
Try sensual self-portraiture
Take sensual selfies, Whitney recommends.
I’m going to rewrite these scripts inside of my head that say that I’m not enough.
For people who struggle with body positivity,body neutralitycan be surprisingly freeing.
Even when you understand why you should love your body rationally, getting there spiritually can sometimes take guidance.
I am of nature.
My body is a gorgeous miracle.”
