This resource is a step-by-step guide on how to leave an abusive relationship.
Get some clarity and remind yourself that you’re doing the right thing.
It’scommon for abusersto take a stab at convince you that the abuse is your faultdon’t buy it.
You are doing the right thing by evenconsideringleaving your abusive relationship.
You do not have to go through any of this alone.
Prioritize your safety as you plan and prepare.
Safety is the No.
“Try using other people’s phones or public computers to look up information.”
Talk to a professional in private.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Reach out to friends and family who can help.
Don’t be afraid to tell the people who love you what you’re going through.
Consider your phone privacy.
If you have access to a cellphone, change your privacy prefs immediately.
That may be even better since its existence won’t be known to your abuser.
Research local domestic violence shelters.
Most importantly, though, you’ll be in a safe space.
Katz recommends starting with resources like theNational Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceorThe Hotlinewebsites to find shelters in your area.
The act of saving money can help you immensely as you prepare to escape.
Consider storing a few dollars a week in a zipper bag hidden outside in a safe place.
You might consider opening a separate bank account at a new bank your abuser doesn’t use.
Start memorizing important phone numbers.
There’s a chance that your abuser may take your phone away from you.
Gradually gather your necessities.
That way, it won’t be obvious to your abuser that you’re planning to leave.
Powell says that “collecting necessities gradually can help keep the [abusive] individual unaware.
That includes gathering/applying for documents, clothes, and children’s needs.
Having a list of items to use as a guide can help make this process a bit easier.
Gather your forms of identification and records.
“No one can tell a victim when it is time to leave,” Katz says.
“Being afraid of not only the abuser but the future is normal.
Make an escape plan.
Every door, every window.
Know in advance which doors lock and how the locks work, and the same goes for windows.
Is it a shelter?
A friend’s house?
A family member’s place of work?
Do the same for a few other locations as well.
Maybe you’ve got the option to just walk out of the front door.
If so, do that.
you’re free to do it.
Consider getting a restraining order.
Getting a restraining order is a decision to consider with care.
Your abuser might venture to do everything they possibly can to get you to return to them.
Even though it might feel like you need your abuser in your life, you don’t.
Instead, rely on the countless resources for people escaping abusive relationships and let them help you.
You’re strong, you’re courageous, and you’re on the path to healing.
Where to go: sanctuaries, women’s shelters, and more.
Domestic violence/emergency shelters are safe spaces for survivors to go to receive temporary housing.
Safe houses and other forms of emergency shelter also offer temporary safe space for survivors and their children.
Powell notes that “domestic-violence-centered programs can offer a host of supports.
There are government, social agencies, and organizations expected to guide folks toward the programs they need.
Those can include hospitals, clinics (like Planned Parenthood), police precincts, etc.
There are varying experiences with all of these, however.
If using these resources, self-advocacy can be really important.”
Leaving an abusive relationship with no money.
“Financial abuse is one of the many ways abusers maintain control over their partners.”
Reach out to your local shelter to find out about what services they have.
Unique concerns for male victims of abuse.
You are not alone.
