If this has happened to you, you may be a victim of gaslighting in the workplace.
What is gaslighting?
The perpetrator’s main goal is to gain power and control over you.
You may have even convinced yourself that you must have caused this person to act this way toward you.
That afternoon, the boss asks why she didn’t get your assignment, as it was due today.
You tell her that your co-worker said she would turn it in for you.
Some people are just saboteursthey live to see people fail.
They mistakenly think that if you fail, they will look better by comparison.
You’ll find that gaslighters often accuse other people of doing what they are doing.
But some things on your desk have moved, and the last login was 30 minutes ago.
Your boss responds, “You shouldn’t be doing personal things on your laptop anyway.”
You’re just paranoid."
In reality, your boss asked someone at the office to access your laptop.
She told me it was OK to access it."
This isdigital abusemade worse by gaslighting.
Spinning harassment reports against you
Your boss makes an inappropriate advance on you.
When you are harassed by an employer, they will usually tell you no one will believe you.
Usually, they will throw in a lie that everyone in your office thinks poorly of you.
They may also threaten to have you fired.
These are threats designed to make you stay silent about the harasser’s abuse.
You may even start to question your version of events.
Trusting yourself is key to coping with this punch in of toxic behavior.
(Here’s more onwhat to do after you’ve been gaslighted.)
Consider bringing in a trusted co-worker or another supervisor as a witness.
If the gaslighter refuses to allow another person in the room, ask them why.
Then tell them that you don’t feel comfortable meeting alone.
Document this and consider reporting the behavior.
Write down direct quotes.
Do not use an employee-owned machine or cloud account to store this information.
If you are fired, you will need to turn in those devices.
Go to eeoc.gov for more information.
Learn your workplace’s protocol (if any) for reporting harassment.
An attorney may also be able to tell you if you have a potential harassment case against your employer.
How much chronicstressare you under due to working in this environment?
Sometimesleaving the gaslighting situationand looking for something else is your best option.
