What to know when considering divorce.
Beyond doing your own inner work, it’s also sometimes possible to revive anunhappy marriage.
Are you both interested in working on this marriage and willing to take concrete steps necessary to do it?
If the answer is no, then it might be time to leave.
“Some circumstances strain marriages to the point of breaking, while your feelings for your spouse remain intact.
Instances of abuse are a nonnegotiable when it comes to divorce, without question.
(Here’sexactly how to leave an abusive relationship, by the way.
The process may need to be a little different from your average divorce, to protect your safety.)
You want different things.
The marriage causes you significant distress.
People don’t always take stress seriously, but Cullins notes that marital stress can even be associated withmedicalillness.
The marriage has not improved despite your efforts.
There’s a lack of intimacy.
Alack of intimacy in a marriageis not irreparable, but it is often a big reason couples get divorced.
Notably, this isn’t just aboutsexless relationships.
Paul adds that missing a sense of excitement and passion in your relationship is typically not a great sign.
You’re unable to communicate effectively.
There’s a lack of respect.
Having an understanding, respectful, and trusting relationship with your spouse is vital.
In the world of couples' therapy, there’s something calledthe “four horsemen” that predict divorce.
“At minimum, it is very mean, and at worst, it becomes emotional abuse.
There’s no spiritual or emotional connection.
This is a painful one, but it’s important to acknowledge when it’s happening.
One person is bearing all the physical and emotional labor.
And that goes for physical labor too, she adds.
After all, no one wants to feel like they’re carrying the entire relationship on their back.
There’s an imbalance in finances (that wasn’t agreed upon).
There’s a reason why finances are an underlying cause of so many divorces.
You don’t feel like yourself in the partnership.
you’re able to’t imagine being with your spouse for the rest of your life.
You’ve finally moved out of denial.
Trial separation vs. divorce.
A trial separation is essentially an informal agreement to take some time apart and specifically live separately.
There is no written or legal agreement involved, making it a relatively easier option than divorce.
Some couples may come back together after a period of separation, while some may move forward with divorce.
Tips for once you feel confident in your decision.
This is especially true if there are children involved.
