How do you manage when issues or conflicts arise?
What are the rules to effectively and successfully co-parent?
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting can be informal or legally formalized through a co-parenting custody agreement or parenting plan.
However, if you and your co-parent are on sufficiently decent terms, then co-parenting can yield many benefits.
“Healthy co-parenting looks different for different families.
How to co-parent effectively:
Make your co-parenting approach child-focused and child-centered.
“Despite how much you like/dislike your ex, you must be on the same page regarding the children.
This includes the good things (celebrations, parties, holidays, etc.)
and the more challenging things like behavior, consequences, and accountability,” she adds.
Thompson reiterates that this is the No.
1 tip for effective co-parenting: “It is imperative that the focus always remain on the children.”
Prioritize direct communication.
Conflict-free, regular, and consistent communication with your co-parent are key components of successful co-parenting.
Thompson and Commiato recommend the following tips to maintain productive communication:
Control your emotions.
Have a consistent schedule.
Co-parenting vs. parallel parenting.
“Co-parenting means you and your ex [are] working together for the children.
Decisions, events, consequences, expectations, etc., are made together.
In co-parenting, there is a level of respect and understanding for the other co-parent,” Commiato explains.
“However, parallel parenting is the opposite.
With parallel parenting, there is a barrier between the two of you.”
Each parent sets their own rules and utilizes their own unique parenting style when the children are with them.
In general, everything is separate, including school events, appointments, and other gatherings.
Commiato notes that parallel parenting usually emerges when negative emotions are getting in the way of parenting.
ensure you have support.
Go to therapy if needed,” Thompson says.
Focus on the children, and do what is best for the children."
Co-parenting works for some, and parallel parenting for others.
There are positives and negatives to both parenting models, and neither option is better than the other.
The key is choosing the method that best facilitates putting the child’s needs first.
