Virtually nothing surpasses the heady, all-consuming rush of a crush.
Is it normal to have a crush while married?
Yes, crushes are completely normal and very common among people in relationships.
“You’re married, not dead,” jokes marriage counselorRachel Wright, LMFT.
As forwhy your crush might feel so intoxicating, there’s a solid scientific reason.
Why married people develop crushes.
It’s all normal.
What your crush can show you about your marriage.
Your attractioncouldreveal potential weaknesses in your current relationshipwhich is, again, not a bad thing.
All relationships, even marriages, have room for improvement.
Do you have deep conversations with your crush but more surface interactions with your significant other?
If so, consider how you’re free to infuse your current relationship with these absent elements.
For instance, brainstorm ways your partner can provide you with more validating attention, O’Reilly suggests.
“They’re about wanting to have a certain experience more than they are about the real other person.
What you fantasize about is a compass leading you to what’s important to you…
So, you should ask yourself: In my fantasy, how do I feel about myself?
What experience does it provide for me?
Of course, it’s also possible that your crush doesn’t mean anything and is truly harmless.
How do you get over a crush when you’re married?
“Policing fantasy is nearly impossible,” Philadelphia-based psychotherapistRebecca Newman, LCSW, tells mbg.
That’s because the initial newness and excitement of any relationship fade over time.
You’ll find that the latter is much longer than the former.”
To flirt, or not to flirt?
For instance, you might want to avoid texting a desired work colleague after-hours.
While some relationship experts feel that playful banter can be acceptable, most warn that it is highly risky.
Newman takes a balanced view.
Ideally, your decision on flirting should be one you make with your partner.
If your loved one considers flirting to be tantamount to cheating, respect their wishes.
Should you tell your spouse about your crush?
Yes, you should tell your spouse about your crush.
O’Reilly also points out that being open with your partner might help defuse your feelings.
After all, the forbidden or taboo aspect of crushes often adds to their allure.
For a similar reason, she sometimes recommends introducing partners to crushes.
The bottom line: Crush with care.
In spite of the intensity of the emotions, venture to slow down and work through your attraction logically.
