In tantra, we connect with our partner on a personal level.
One way to do this is through the lingam massage.
Yes, this is a fancy name for a hand job.
What is a lingam massage?
A lingam massage is atantric sexpractice focused on massaging the penis.
The lingam massage isn’t about having one orgasm and being done.
Yes, multiple orgasms aren’t just for people with clitorises!
Lingamis the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to “wand of light.”
(Theyoni massagemight be considered the equivalent of the lingam massage, just performed on people with vaginas.)
A big part of sacred sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it.
Many women I work with are still not totally comfortable with handling a man’s penis.
Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors the penis and those who have them.
We do it to give them pleasure.
For most people, it represents a state of meditation.
How to perform a lingam massage on your partner.
It can be an independent act or foreplay to intercourse.
Have your penis partner lie on their back wherever they are most comfortable.
They might like a pillow under their head or hips.
Remind them to breathe deeply.
This will assist in a deeper relaxation.
Remember to breathe.
Breathing is what separates tantra from regular sex.
This special breathing will bring you three benefits:
Encourage the penis owner to breathe deeply too.
before you get going the lingam massage, tune into your partner by engaging in the Bliss Breath together.
Just taking a few breaths at the same time will put you both at ease and match your biorhythms.
Lubricate and massage the areas around the penis.
Start by sliding your hands up and down the thighs before getting to the good stuff.
This will also make your partner feel more relaxed.
Compliment them on something you like about what you’re seeing and touching.
Move on to the testicles.
Gently, slowly massage them.
you’ve got the option to use your fingernails gently on the testicles, or pull them slightly.
you might also cup them in your hands and fondle them in the palm of your hand.
Be careful with the balls.
People differ greatly as to the kind of touch they like here.
Some people are more sensitive or ticklish than others.
Massage the shaft.
Keep them at the edge of orgasm.
By now, your partner might be very worked up and might want to come.
(Here’s afull guide to edgingfor more techniques.)
The penis might go from being rock hard to semi-hard.
That’s what’s supposed to happen.
Stimulate the Sacred Spot externally.
The Sacred Spot is the prostate, which is a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis.
When stimulated properly, it is very pleasurable.
If your partner isn’t experienced with prostate massage, start externally.
Be careful to go slowly and let your partner guide you in terms of pressure.
it’s possible for you to also use a circular massage motion.
Or better yet, ask them if you’ve got the option to shave them for easier access.
Stimulate the Sacred Spot internally.
If they’re game, you’ll want to loosen up their anus with massage oil.
Don’t insert a finger without permission.
Ask if they’re ready for more.
If your partner is ready for insertion, double-check their anus and your fingers are oiled up.
double-check your nails don’t have any jagged edges.
Start by inserting just the tip of one finger at first.
Wiggle it back and forth to loosen your partner up.
Ask your partner how they’re doing as you go.
