What is flirting?

Either way, flirting ideally feels good for both people if the feelings are mutual.

It’s about shared curiosity and excitement.

Kelly Gonsalves

“Thinking, ‘OK, how do I flirt better?

‘I think is the very thing that kills our ability to have that kind of interaction.”

Instead, she suggests asking yourself a different set of questions:How can I be more embodied?

How can I be more of myself?

How can I feel more at ease with myself?

That openness is what breeds intimacy.

That makesyouwant to open up, whether you realize it or not," she explains.

“That’s when we’re like, this is aniceinteraction.

This is aniceconversation.”

Be willing to make the first move.

Make it more casual.

“People can also keep this same approach in mind when it comes to flirting,” Boodram explains.

Go at your own pace!"

Don’t worry about nailing the art of flirting smoothly or jumping to make big overtures right away.

If you think someone’s cool, ask them to take a walk with you.

Get a cup of coffee together.

Askthoughtful questions, and see if the interest is mutual.

“Flirting” can be as simple as that.

Pay attention to your body language.

These aren’t magic psychology tricks.

They’re all just cues that show someone you’re really paying attention to them and engaged with them.

They only do that with people they actually like.

Offer a thoughtful compliment.

People love feeling seen and appreciated.

The caveat, Boodram notes, is to not get too long-winded about it.

Open a real conversation.

Good conversation can be flirtatious.

or “How do you know so-and-so?”

Then, ask thoughtful follow-ups tokeep the conversation going.

“Circle back to things they’ve previously said to show you are paying attention,” she adds.

Pay attention to how they’re responding.

While someone has to make the first move, flirting only works if the interest is then reciprocated.

“I recommend that you assess (and reassess!)

how the other person is reacting to you,” Boodram says.

Be aware of when conversations are fizzling out and you’re not getting a response."

Take no for an answer, and keep it moving.

Don’t overdo it.

People can sometimes overthink flirting or give it too much conscious thought, Artschwager notes.

So again, focus less on trying to be “more flirty.”

Instead, go into these interactions trying to be as authentic andyourselfas you could possibly be, Artschwager recommends.

How to flirt over text.

It’s very hard to flirt over text, Artschwager warns.

“Remember small details about their story and bring them up later, like: ‘Hey!

How did you like it?'”

you’ve got the option to also useplayful languageand emoji, she adds.

How to flirt with guys vs. girls.

“Flirting is so personal,” Artschwager explains.

What one person finds flirty won’t always be the same as what another person finds flirty.

“You have to find your own flavor and definition of that.

So then the male-female question kind of becomes superfluous because it’s not really about that.

It’s about what it means foryou.”

“We all have to accept that people can’t read minds,” Boodram adds.

“Sometimes, flirting doesn’t come in the form we are used to experiencing it.

Be mindful of the small ways people can show they care.”

Then, of course, smile."

The bottom line.

In the words of Artschwager, flirting is so personal.

There’s no one way to flirt that’s going to work for everybody andoneverybody.

It’s as simple as that.

And have fun with it!