The thought of finding yourself may sound intimidating, but it really doesn’t have to be.
It’s simply an exploration of yourselfyour desires, the values you hold, and your belief systems.
The journey isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it.
On the other side, you’ll find clarity, purpose, and a deep sense of fulfillment.
What it means to find yourself
Finding yourself can mean different things for different people.
It may also look like making better choices, which can positively impact self-esteem and help reclaim internal narratives.
It’s important to note that finding yourself isn’t a one-and-done situation.
“Finding yourself improves your life’s satisfaction,” Mancao adds.
“It helps you get in touch with your wants, needs, desires, and joys.
Doing this helps us live in alignment with what is true for us.”
It also means seeing who does not have your best interests at heart," she says.
“Ultimately, as we change, the people around us may change too.”
However, most people experience a lasting sense of self-awareness and personal triumph after passing through this difficult period.
Comparison
According to psychotherapistBeth Gulotta, LMHC, we are constantly sizing ourselves up to other people.
It can cause confusion orlack of clarity on what we actually wantand desire for ourselves.
As we embrace our individuality and authenticity, we are faced with things that are unfamiliar and scary.
15 ways to start finding yourself:
Explore your values.
When it comes to finding yourself, a great place to start is figuring out what your values are.
Look to the past.
Licensed therapistIbinye Osibodu-Onyali, LMFT, suggests “thinking back to a time when life felt fun and simple.
What activities did you do?
Who did you surround yourself with?
What triggered those easy feelings?
make a run at recreate a version of that time of your life.
She also recommends reflecting on how you lost your connection in the first place.
Where did it all go wrong?
And how can you reverse the parts that went wrong?
Begin a journaling practice, suggests Osibodu-Onyali.
Each day, spend a few minutes checking in with yourself.
Practice mindfulness.
Taking it a step further, try implementing afull mindfulness practiceinto your routine to help support your self-discovery process.
“It can help you develop self-awareness and gain insight into your thoughts and emotions.”
Focus on establishing trust within.
Finding yourself is all aboutbuilding inner trust, says Samuels.
Where have we been successful?
How have we shown up for ourselves?
Look for role models.
“The truth is, many of us turn out like our parents,” she tells mbg.
“We subconsciously and consciously follow the path they lay.
But finding yourself means figuring out what you align with, not what you were born into.”
Notice who inspires and excites you, she recommends, and observe which actions of theirs resonate with you.
Embrace your innate curiosity.
If you think about it, we are all born curious.
That curiosity encourages us to go from crawling to walking, so we can explore the world around us.
Try new things.
“It can also help you step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself.
Embrace self-care.
Spicer calls itradical self-indulgence.
It’s important to prioritize pleasure and believe you deserve it, she says.
“Taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally, is an important part of self-discovery.
Do the opposite of what your people-pleasing anxiety is telling you.
“Take your people-pleasing anxiety on a case-by-case basis,” Vadakumchery recommends.
You might find that this person didn’t notice any changes to your relationship and still appreciates you.”
(Here’s ourfull guide on how to focus on yourself.)
Use positive affirmations.
While finding yourself, there will be high moments and low ones.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself and speak to yourself with kindness.
(“It is extremely hard to find yourself from this place,” she notes.)
Discover your creative flow.
PsychologistRobyn McKay, Ph.D.,describes “flow” as the consciousness state that’s associated with creativity.
Go to therapy.
Last but not least,working with a therapistcan be immensely helpful in the process of finding yourself.
Take your time.
It does take time to get comfortable with the self-discovery process.
Instead of focusing on the outcome, Mancao suggests shifting your focus.
“Shift your attention to the journey and nuggets of wisdom that you are finding along the way.
This is all part of the process,” she says.
We are all doing this thing called life for the first time.”
FAQ:
What does it really mean to find yourself?
Finding yourself is an act of self-love.
It’s an inward journey that involves a lot of introspection and discipline, but the reward is great.
As you explore who you are, you’ll begin to develop a better relationship with yourself.
How do I discover who I really am and what I want in life?
What makes me happy in life?
What helps me slide into a creative flow state?
Who do I want to be more like in my life?
How can I feel more like myself?
It’s not something you check off your to-do list and move on with your day.
“Keep trying new things, challenging unhelpful and hurtful narratives, and keep going,” says Mancao.
