It can leave a child feeling rootless and terrified.
When it came to my own divorce, I wanted a different experience.
My ex-husband and and I wanted to put our children first.
We were ending our marriage, not ending our family.
Here are some tips for anyone ending a marriage with kids whodon’twish to end their family.
Really understand your marriage (and divorce) before you pull the trigger.
Explore what your new family structure should look like.
Explore and try out alternative ways of structuring your new family system before making any final decisions.
Consider trying atemporary separation, one that’s less liketaking a breakand more like doing a test drive.
Be thoughtful about your new homes.
Consider staying as close as possible to each other while maintaining appropriate boundaries.
We did this to avoid creating a feeling of real “distance” to our children.
Additionally, put effort into the details to create cozy environments for everyone.
We were committed to ensuring that both homes were properly set up and comfortable for the kids.
Create and maintain clear, consistent boundaries.
Boundaries are important to keep consistency both for the parents and the children.
One way to do this is to create and agree on a very clear and consistent parenting schedule.
Consider a shared credit card.
Have a system for communicating.
Set up a system that cuts down on the day-to-day communication that might incite emotional drama.
This allows us to avoid missed emails, forgetfulness, and miscommunications about logistics, which often cause friction.
We’re all busy.
Juggling kids is hard enough when married and living in the same house!
“Family” is a place in our hearts, not a street address.
