Why humans kiss.
To understand how to kiss better, it’s helpful to understandwhy humans kissin the first place.
And within relationships, kissingserves a vital role1in that it can help heal tensions and promotes closeness.
Tips & techniques to try:
Focus on your partner.
“Too often we learn a ‘technique’ and become completely dedicated to that way of doing things.”
Ask, ask, ask!
In fact, it’s exactly the opposite!"
Then we can turn the tables, and I’ll do the same for you!"
Prioritize kissing.
Often kissing is thought of as aprecursor to sex, instead of an intimate activity in its own right.
Set time aside where you focus just on kissing.
By focusing purely on kissing, you’ll become more adept at it.
Make eye contact.
By establishing eye contact before making physical contact, you ramp up the anticipation and sexiness.
(See also: the viralpsychology love eye trick.)
Draw out the anticipation.
“Linger in the stages before the kiss,” adds sex educatorSuzannah Weiss.
“Run your hands through each other’s hair, touch each other’s faces and bodies.
Graze your lips against theirs before going in for the kiss.
Kiss other parts of their face before going toward their lips.
venture to keep teasing each other like this until you’re able to’t take it anymore.”
Build it up.
Use your tongue.
“Work on your tongue game,” encourages Bisbey.
Try different patterns and strokes, alternating pressures and rhythms.
See what your partner responds well to when it comes to this so-called French kissing.
Don’t be afraid to bite.
Just verify not to bite too hard, too suddenly, says Bisbey.
People’s mileage may vary with biting, so ask before diving in.
Suck it.
Involve your whole body.
Graze your hands over their arms and legs.
Grind your hips against theirs if that’s something you’re both comfortable with," she recommends.
These actions help to increase the desire between the two of you and add an edge to your kisses.
Pay attention to your partner’s reactions.
Kiss places other than their mouth.
Kissing doesn’t have to be limited to mouth-on-mouth.
Play around with other places to kiss on your partner’s body.
Try their eyelids, their nose, the crook of their arm.
(Here’s our full guide toerogenous zones, too.)
Be a tease.
Focus inward.
“Kiss mindfully,” suggests body coachSarah Bick.
“Notice everywhere your lip touches theirs.
Home in to the sensation.”
Get into the groove.
Pamper your lips.
“No one likes kissing chapped lips!”
Brush up.
It’s also important to stay on top of your oral hygiene, says Kicha.
see to it you brush and floss at least twice a day.
A quick swill of mouthwash before a kissing session is also considerate.
Keep it fresh.
Get consent.
“There’s nothing sexier than consent,” Fogelson says.
A simple ‘Can I kiss you?’
with eye-gazing and a smile shows that you are into clear communication and respect."
If so, keep going.
Laugh gently at yourself, and then take another crack, says therapistRenetta Weaver, LCSW.
Don’t forget to breathe!
“Take breathing breaks.
Everyone needs to breathe,” says Marcus.
It can be really easy to get swept up in the moment and not focus on your bodily needs.
Close your eyes.
Not knowing exactly what will happen next is part of the excitement!"
says marriage and family therapistJanine Piernas, M.A., LMFT.
Eyes closed is safest unless otherwise specified.
Use your hands.
Use your hands to gently pull your lover’s hair or grab their butt or cup their face.
Ask your partner where they most like to be touched while being kissed.
Positive feedback is everything.
“Want a kiss booster?
Tell your partner they’re a good kisser.
These statements soften the blow and make it easier for the other person to overcome.