It’s understandable that you may be apprehensive about asking someone out on a date.
Nobody likes rejection, especially not in matters of the heart.
It can be embarrassing or make once comfortable interactions seem weird.
But if you never ask the question, you’ll never know the answer.
Deciding when to take the next step.
You want to look for reciprocity here.
To pick up on these cues, clinical psychologistJaime Zuckerman, PsyD,suggests starting with casual conversation.
Don’t “cold call” the request.
Chat about the weather or a good movie you just watched.
Use that common ground as a foundation for nurturing the relationship, she suggests.
“Being familiar with them usually means you already have some background information.
Expand on this in conversation.
before asking someone out.
(Here are somesigns of attractionif you’re still unsure.)
How to ask someone out on a date:
Be assertive, not aggressive.
“It’s important to be observant here and not too pushy,” Carr says.
“Remember to listen and let the conversation progress naturally.”
Zuckerman adds that you should “Preface the ask with an understanding of the circumstances.
Acknowledge the potential weirdness of the situation.
Give them space if they need to think it over to weigh the potential pros and cons.”
Avoid the “D” word if uncertain.
At worst, it will be a friendly outing with someone whose company you enjoy.
Do it in private.
This environment may also make things a bit uncomfortable for you if they decline.
Zuckerman recommends asking the person out in private.
Pull them to the side if necessary.
Offer an easy out.
You don’t want to go out with someone who doesn’t really want to be there anyway.
Be straightforward.
Ask them out to dinner or for drinks.
After you’ve established a connection, don’t beat around the bush too long.
Make your intentions known to ensure you’re on the same page.
In person vs. text.
She says it depends on the environment and the level of discretion necessary.
Texting could be a viable option if that’s the most tactful, private method of contact available.
Or if that’s the main way the two of you communicate.
Keep in mind, though, that assessing tone can be difficult via text.
Messages are easily misconstrued.
So, pop in exactly what you mean.
This goes foronline datingand social media DMs as well.
What to do when they’re not interested.
Sometimes you’re free to take every precaution and still misread the situation.
You may think the other person is romantically interested in you when they’re just being nice.
Or they may really like you, but only as a friend.
“Respect their decision.
It very well may not be personal but rather a function of the circumstance itself.”
As Carr points out, “No one likes being rejected.
It’s important not to take it personally and to accept it with grace.
Everyone won’t be interested in you.
You don’t need them to be.
All it takes is one precise connection to change your life.”
The bottom line.
Don’t add more stress to the situation.
Build a relationship with the person and allow it to naturally progress.
Then, detach from the outcome.
Letting someone know you have feelings for themrequires a level of vulnerability.
Be proud of yourself for taking the risk and putting yourself out there, no matter the result.
