What does it really mean to forgive someone?
It’s an internal state of being, and it’s not dependent on anyone but you."
But there does come a point where you might ask yourself,Is this actually serving me?"
Benefits of forgiveness.
To understand thebenefits of forgiveness, you have to understand what happens when you don’t forgive.
As Zar explains, “Holding on to a grudge, holding resentmentit’s not good for us.
It causes a lot of stress and anxiety, lower mood, and of course, relationship stress.”
Hallett describes not forgiving someone as a mixture of anger, depression, and blame.
5 steps to forgiveness:
Understand why forgiveness is important.
Why do you want to forgive, in general?
Assess who/what needs to be forgiven.
From this place of understanding, begin to think about the situation and person in question.
Zar explains this is when you’ll begin to start deciding whether you evencanforgive them.
Earned your trust back if that’s what’s needed?
Have they clarified that their intention wasn’t to hurt you?
Do you believe them?
That’s really important," she tells mbg.
Do some inner work around the issue.
And how is that energy festering in your life?
Part of this step ties back to No.
1 and recognizing that forgiveness is a gift to yourself.
Take your understanding of the value of forgiveness and apply it to the situation at hand.
Choose to release and forgive.
And it is, ultimately, a choice.
“You don’t necessarily have to say, ‘I forgive you.’
You could write it on a piece of paper and let it go.
I’m choosing for me to move forward,'” she adds.
Be prepared for setbacks.
Thought we were done?
When forgiveness may not be an option + what to do instead.
“What takeaway did you get from this, even if you’re unable to forgive somebody?
How can we grow?
How can we better ourselves from it?”
she suggests asking yourself.
Moving forward.
And according to Zar,setting firm boundariesis the main one.
Or it could also mean fundamentallychanging the nature of the relationship."
Zar tells mbg that depending on the situation, your course of action is going to look different.
It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you given the situation.
“And you might forgive someone and do that at the same time.
The takeaway.
The bottom line is, forgiveness doesn’t always come easy, but it is so worth it.
