That is seriously wonderful.
How soon is too soon to propose?
In general, Earnshaw recommends at least waiting until the so-called honeymoon stage is over before you propose.
That’s because ourbrain chemistry in this early phaseof a relationship can cloud our ability to make rational decisions.
“During this stage, couples are often highly influenced by lots of love hormones,” she explains.
“These hormones make us more likely to magnify the good and minimize the bad.”
How long do people typically date before getting engaged?
9 signs you’re ready to propose:
You’ve talked about marrying each other.
Contrary to popular belief, proposals shouldn’t exactly be a “surprise.”
“Don’t propose without being clear about what your partner wants in your relationship,” Earnshaw warns.
There is no ambiguity about what you both want.
You think of your future as a unit, instead of as an individual.
“Your language changes from ‘I/me’ to ‘we/us/our’ when discussing future plans,” she explains.
You know you both want the same things.
For example, she says, “Do they want marriage?
Do they believe in monogamy?
Do you both want children?”
These are allquestions to ask before marriageand confirm you’re on the same page about.
You’re on the same page about all the big stuff.
Another thing you’ll want to see to it you’ve done before proposing?
You’ve experienced making decisions together.
You’re ready to propose when you have experienced making decisionsbig and smallas a couple, says Earnshaw.
Your conflicts rarely get nasty.
Every couple will have conflicts from time to time, but what matters is how you handle those conflicts.
“You have been able to navigate differences with respect,” Earnshaw says.
Being engaged won’t make your communication better."
You’re starting to think about married life.
“[Your] actions start to align with proposing,” says Andre.
You’re open to premarital counseling.
However, it’s important to recognize that this is, almost without question, taking a risk.
The risk may pay off and work out in the end, but it also may not.
Your relationship is highly passionate.
Many people make the mistake of getting married when the passion is at a peak.
You haven’t met the important people in their life.
You’re not sure about their values.
You’re still not that familiar with the details of their life outside of you.
Do you know their career and life aspirations?
What they do for work and how they spend their free time?
Who are the people they spend time with and talk to regularly?
You’re more excited about the idea of getting married than about your actual relationship.
Are you excited to marry your partner, or are you just excited to get married?
You sometimes have arguments that turn ugly.
“If you haven’t built the skills for conflict management yet, then engagement won’t change that.
Slow down and take time to learn how to better navigate differences together.”
You have never argued at all yet.
You’re not sure how your partner feels about marrying you yet.
You should know that you and your partner are on the same page before you propose, says Earnshaw.
“While I would hope it goes without saying, in reality it doesn’t,” says Earnshaw.
“Many people propose in hopes it will strengthen a faltering or noncommittal relationship.
Only propose to someone who has an equal level of excitement and commitment to your relationship.”
The takeaway.
A proposal is more than just a big gesture or a milestone to check off your list.
