As if ghosting isn’t a frustrating enough dating trend, now you may find yourself zombied.
What’s the difference?
Well, with zombie-ing in dating, the ghost comes back.
Worse, it often occurs just as you’ve moved on and come to terms with what happened.
What does it mean to be zombied?
Zombie-ing takes the sudden exit a step further.
Their reemergence may be as random as their departure.
It could entail a generic text message asking how you’ve been.
Sometimes it’s a social media friend request or like on a post.
Why do people do it?
Over time, the zombie may have felt guilty about how they left things and wished to apologize.
They may have also realized they care about the person or are more ready for commitment than before.
The less considerate zombie operates with more callous motivation.
If that someone comes around, the ghost drops the temporary partnerand if things fail, they come back.
They don’t feel they owe an explanation because they were never invested in the relationship.
What to do about it.
Either way, it doesn’t change how reckless they were with your heart.
Here’s some advice on how to handle the circumstance:
Call it by its name.
Don’t make excuses or refer to the behavior as something more ambiguous, like a misunderstanding.
When you face that, you could decide what to do about it and make yourself less susceptible tomanipulation.
Know when to reconnectand when to avoid it.
Zuckerman insists that reconnection should only be an option if the zombie first acknowledges their disappearance.
“They need to clearly articulate the reasons why the ghosting took place,” she says.
They must also show remorse.
Only then should you consider rekindling the relationship.
Watch for triggers.
Moyo points out that being ghosted may take you back to a time when you felt worthless or unwanted.
It may trigger atrauma response.
Notice when theseattachment issuesare coming up so you could address them head-on.
Establish strict boundaries.
Boundariesneed to be set regardless of how you choose to handle the zombie.
If you reconnect, Zuckerman recommends being upfront about what you will and will not tolerate going forward.
Be honest with yourself.
Know that there will continue to be sporadic interaction.
The bottom line.
Toss zombie-ing into the pile withghosting,breadcrumbing, and all other unsavory adventures in courtship.
Dating trends have names now, but they aren’t new.
However, increased access to people through technology and apps does amplify those trends.
