Have you ever said any of the following to yourself in your romantic relationships?
What is a fantasy bond?
Perhaps your partner is distant.
Or continues to hurt you in some way and make excuses for it.
Whatever it might be, there isnot true intimacyand care between you.
Intimacy must be nurtured.
It’s good to be hopeful.
Oftentimes, fantasy bonds can be a way tomake excuses for abuse.
Why we develop fantasy bonds.
As children, we must bond to our caregivers.
If we have unpredictable, neglectful, aloof, or abusive parents, this can be challenging.
We wonder, who will keep us safe if not our caregiver?
Instead, we build defenses.
These defenses take us out of reality to keep us psychologically safe and instead take us into fantasy.
We might blame ourselves for the adult’s behavior.
I know we will have so much fun then!"
How to stop leaning on fantasy bonds.
We must face who we are, and we must face who our partner is.
But if not, then the connection is only maintained through the fantasy.
People are telling you who they are with their behavior.
