Maybe you simply suspect your new partner or fresh Tinder honey might be emotionally unavailable.
Being emotionally unavailable describes someone who is not open to discussing or sharing their feelings.
Emotionally unavailable people can be evasive, flaky, or hard to read.
Sprowl says that this is often an illusion used to evade being vulnerable with feelings.
They seek space and solitude to regulate their anxiety, especially during conflicts," she says.
This can feel uncomfortable and scary.
No one should feel like they’re being jerked around.
This does not make for a productive dynamic.
(This is also a typicalsign of a narcissist, by the way.)
They tend to value control over situations and aren’t willing to compromise.
Walfish says this includes things like life goals, life regrets, wishes, hopes, and longings.
By seeing multiple people, you attempt to avoid developing an attachment to one person.
This may seem like a smart choice, but it shows the anxiety you have around your own emotions.
Real relationships take real time and real effort.
If you’re not willing to put those in, you’re not ready for a relationship.
Just because it feels exciting doesn’t make it real.
Playing games, causing distress to another person, and watching them grovel for your affection can be intoxicating.
It’s a power trip.
It is also a sign of emotional manipulation and evasiveness.
If you’re in it for the drama, you’re not really giving up anything real about yourself.
This says a lot about you.
It may be time to reevaluate your priorities.
Cutting someone off protects you from getting close to people, but it also distances you from anything meaningful.
There are many reasons why someone might be emotionally unavailable.
Sometimes a person may have afear of intimacy, says Sprowl.
Sometimes being emotionally unavailable may simply be resulting from life cirucmstances.
As such, they actively choose not to engage emotionally with others.
Being emotionally unavailable does not make you a bad person or someone incapable of love.
As with all things romance and life, it’s a learning experience.
We need to use these emotionally unavailable relationships, whether culprit or victim, to expand our emotional repertoire.
Once we do that, we can begin to grow.
