Have you ever been attracted to someone completely different from you?

You’re artistic and shy and find yourself drawn to sporty, talkative types.

But do opposites really attract in real life, and can they actually work?

Tianna Soto, M.A.

According to psychology research and relationship experts, the answer is both yes and no.

But what about your aunt and uncle who have been married for 20 years and are polar opposites?

“However, when a large sample of couples is examined, this pattern does not hold.

Some stats, however, show that opposites can indeed attract and make things workwith a caveat.

Clinical psychologistChelsea Sarai, Psy.D., says that dating your opposite can providea sense of balancein your romantic relationship.

Dating your opposite can mean that your lifestyle is more balanced, too, Korshak adds.

you might learn from each other.

You’re less likely to get bored or feel stagnant.

According to Boston-based therapistAngela Ficken, LICSW, dating your opposite can keep your relationship exciting and always evolving.

They can challenge your assumptions and beliefs.

You learn how to compromise.

You may not always agree, but knowing how to meet in the middle can make your romance stronger.

It can keep the passion alive.

Korshak says dating your opposite can evenboost attraction.

“In therapy, we look at couples on a spectrum from ‘enmeshed’ to totally ‘differentiated.

This differentiation can be easier to maintain for opposites.”

Korshak explains that dating your opposite generally has more challenges than dating someone similar to you.

“It takes more effort to understand each other initially,” she says.

You may experience conflict more frequently.

A2018 study5published inSelf and Identityfound that if you’retoodifferent from your partner, communication andconflict resolutioncan be a major struggle.

Martin adds that if your individual goals and values aren’t aligned, the potential for relationship conflict increases.

It can be challenging to find common ground in the long run.

In general, similarity makes us feel comfortable and may make our partner seem more trustworthy.

Along with personality traits, sharing common interests and hobbies can boost your relationship.

And on the contrary,having different opinions on important topicscan potentially drive partners apart.

How to find a compatible partner

Compatibility is all about existing harmoniously with someone or something.

To do this, Boodram recommends having a set of “Frozen Five Requirements” and sticking to them.

Maybe you want someone family-oriented, funny, or someone who is highly empathetic.

So keep an open mind and be flexible when searching for a compatible partner.

FAQ:

Do opposites really attract?

Opposites can certainly attract due to novelty, excitement, being intrigued by the unknown, and in general.

Is it better to date someone opposite or similar to you?

But don’t worry!

“It’s important for couples to find a balance between similarities and differences that works for them.”

“What matters most is finding someone who supports you in becoming the best version of yourself.”