Narcissistic personality disorderinvolves a pattern of selfish, arrogant, and often manipulative behavior.
A narcissist typically operates with a superiority complex and almost never shows empathy.
Trying to co-parent after a breakup with someone like this won’t be an easy feat.
The struggle of co-parenting with a narcissist.
Co-parenting vs. parallel parenting.
When it comes to parenting with an ex, there are multiple ways to approach it.
This approach assumes a level of cooperation and some alignment in child-rearing philosophies and strategies to be successful.
It typically works best when the adults involved have an amicable and cooperative relationship.
Co-parenting with a narcissist can be difficult because compromise is often challenging.
Issues that may arise.
Setting clear boundaries is always a necessity when dealing with narcissists.
Document everything.
This will help to support co-parents when the narcissist begins shifting blame and expectations or gaslighting.
Slow your reaction.
Co-parenting with a narcissist will be extremely triggering.
Focus on the best interests of the child.
Focus on being a consistent parent.
Focus on how you might show up in healthy ways for your child.
Be consistent by doing what you say and showing up when you say you will show up.
Refrain from negative commentary about your co-parent and lead by example.
Consider how you could balance out the narcissist’s parenting style.
And since children end up suffering when parents fail to align, it might be worth revisiting the arrangement.
Seek expert input.
Is narcissism genetic?
(Here’s more on what to know aboutchildren raised by narcissists.)
When things really aren’t working.
When things really aren’t working, you might feel incredibly overwhelmed.
“If something isn’t working, you must change it, and the sooner the better.
Because the longer it goes on, the harder it is to fix.
Kesselman says before you do anything, see to it you’ve collected enough evidence to support your claims.
If you’re looking to gain sole custody, you’ll have to appear before a judge.
It may help to consult with a legal expert beforehand to know what to do and how to prepare.
But I also don’t agree with our parents' wisdom of ‘just ignore them.'”
The bottom line.
Co-parenting with a narcissist is difficult, but it’s not impossible.
