Roughly 20% of people have an anxious attachment style,according to research.
If yes, then that could be the reason why you experience anxious attachment patterns.
Maybe this sounds familiar to you.
One moment the parent will be loving and available.
In an attempt to hold onto their partner, they may end up pushing them away.
“People who are anxiously attached often come off asemotionally needy,” Wegner says.
Rather than communicating their needs, they tend to act on them.
This often leads to a relational pattern of acting out, followed by requiring soothing.
For example, the anxious partner has a panic attack when their significant other goes out with friends.
To accommodate the anxious partner’s needs, they stay home next time around.
Unfortunately, their actions tend to attractavoidant styleswhich confirms their fears of abandonment and rejection, Lippman-Barile says.
Perceived threat or loss of a relationship
For many, certain levels of conflict can be healthy.
“This can be a partner who says all the right things but then disappears unexpectedly.”
Understanding why you tend to behave a certain way in relationships is the first step in breaking those patterns.
“Every change starts with self-reflection and self-awareness,” Wegner says.
The anxious behaviors you habitually engage in don’t result in what you truly want, Lippman-Barile says.
Reach out to someone you trust
Overcoming an anxious attachment style will usually take help.
Reaching out to family and friends you trust may be a start.
“Doing a little work now can save a lot of heartache and headache down the line.”
